HK now!

[Update:  I wrote all this in Shanghai, but I didn't get a chance to post until now.  I am in HK, we're staying with DH's family.]

I'm quite impressed with Shanghai, I had been toying with the idea of maybe doing a 6 month work term here - but I talked to a colleague, and it doesn't sound like health care will be doing it for me.  I don't think think (based on pure conjecture) there are a lot of REs in China - one child policy, baby selling and all that.  And it seems like if you're sick you go to the hospital (as opposed to a family doctor that knows you) - I don't think my fancy new Dr Care/Awesome setup is how it works here.  And I hear people actually go to HK to have babies (where is costs $7k CAD!).  I asked a few guys a work, they didn't know because they hadn't been sick.  Although I guess if we take a 6month break from IF in the future, it could be on the table.

It is killing me I can't comment on your blogs!  I can read them through googlereader, but all blog sites seem to be blocked.  In the next stage of my trip I don't think I'll have as much Internet access.  [Update:  I'm am super far behind - sorry, too busy for much Internet access in HK.  JB, I hope you got the house!]

So, one worrisome thing is going on at home.  My boss has mysteriously disappeared.  I am worried.  This happened two years ago at our company, an 8 mo pg lady I worked with very closely didn't come back from a doc appt one day.  A few weeks later we learned she lost the baby.  Very very sad.  (She has since had a healthy baby girl - yay! she's due back soon from mat leave).  So now anytime a pg lady just doesn't come back from a doc appt... I worry, anyway.  I know my boss had a ultrasound scheduled for Weds (we were supposed to find the genders out)...then radio silence.  Thursday there was an email from our director saying bosslady would be out for 'a while', and director could help us with anything we needed.  Bad sign.  And now bosslady's out of office has now been set and is a vauge thing about 'health reasons' and no definate time she'll be back.  Hope she's ok.  I am really hoping maybe the doc just put her on bed rest or something, and everything otherwise is ok.  Argh, just writing this is choking me up.  I may be jealous of her twins, but that doesn't mean I don't want them to be healthy.

[IF update from HK:]
So in the evenings I've been super super tired.  Last night I was falling asleep on the way home from dinner, but apparently some IF drama went down while I was sleeping (and I don't speak Chinese, so I probably wouldn't have noticed anyway!).  We were  on the way home from dinner with some extended family, and someone casually asked when we plan to have children.  DH's Mom right away said, "They're really trying hard, don't ask them about it, they'll be really angry", which instantly upset DH, so I think he (and DH's Dad) basically told her to shut up.  By saying that, she's essentially told the entire extended family we're IF.  Great.  I mean, I wouldn't have minded if she told DH's oldest uncle (who we're staying with!  9 of us in a 1000 sq ft apt!), but there were even more extended family at the meal - DH's Great-Aunt/Uncle and his first-cousins once removed.  And they're all going to Taiwan as well, so essentially everyone at the wedding will know we're IF.

But actually, I'm just glad I didn't know it was going on at the time.  I am trying to be more open about IF, and this isn't how I would have planned it, but I suppose it doesn't matter if everyone knows.  Then they can be happier for us IF we catch.  And they live in HK/Taiwan.  Not exactly close.   We have since told DH's Mom it is more appropriate to say, "Oh, kids these days.  We're not sure of their plan of when to have children."

Sorry I haven't been posting very much!  I may have time to post again in Taiwan.  Hugs!  As of CD6, still TEBB for me.

Coming clean (TMI)

So I haven't been quite upfront about this 'pain' I'm having, cuz it's
sort of embarassing. It isn't cramps - it's out the other end, so to
speak. Pain before defection - sympton of endo, so the Internet tells
me.

And it has been like one million times worse that ever before this
month. For the last year or so (?) it was maybe a twinge now and
then. Now it is quite bad, and lasting all day/night. Something is
up. (Did the Chinese herbs do this to me?! Dunno! Or do I have a
growth or something? Dunno! Gluten? Is gluten doing this to me??)

Or maybe it has nothing to do with endo, maybe it is to do with the
time/food change? I leave this to doc Awesome to figure out.

I am the most regular person in the world - even now, with my shifted
time zone, I am still "dropping the kids off" at the same time - but
in the wrong time zone! Hahaha. I think this is contributing to this
pain I'm having all day (it comes in bursts). It is slightly better
today, thankgoodness.

JB - Yes, it is a consolation we're cycle sistas! :)
(And I expected AF for sure this month - things arn't right with me,
something is up. Let's hope Dr Awesome gets to the 'bottom' of it!
hahahah. But I'm sorry for you. Stupid AF.)

I feel like this whole IF thing has become quite abstracted lately -
it's about the little goals (like removing this pain) that will
eventually fit into the larger picture.

"I have a collect call for CS. It's your Aunt Flo Calling"

"Ah...ok, I will take the charges."

"Helloooo dearie!  I've just landed."

"Um, welcome to Shanghai, I suppose.  What are you doing here?"

"You don't think I'd let my favourite neice get lonesome in Shanghai, do you?  It took me an extra few days to track you down this month, dearie!"

"29 days.  Not bad.  I was expecting you anyway.  Since it's 5am and I'm up, why not just come over?"

"Thought you'd never ask!"

Arrived safe and sound in Shanghai!

Arrived safe and sound in Shanghai!

And I'm tired, but I don't feel like anyone punched me in the stomach - thanks to my lenten prayer buddy for any extra help!  :)  Also, I took/am taking those homeopathic jet lag remedy things.

It is ~CD27 (since I sort of skipped half a day, it is really CD26.5, but let's not get too wrapped up in these things), and no spotting yet, that is a good thing!  I am hoping my cycle is at least longer this time!  :)

Ok, a long shower and to bed with me!

Update:
I woke up at 4am, but I am satisfied with my sleep - it was mostly a full night.  I stayed in bed until 5am, then I got up and did my Luteal Phase yoga, then I went to the gym, now I'm back and showered and have SO much time to do makeup and get dressed for work before heading down to breakfast!  Hah - I sort of like these early mornings.  4am is obvi too extreme, but I don't mind waking up at 5am to do so much stuff before going to work.  And seriously, the workout has made me feel excellent.

No spotting yet.

Update - CD28:
At about 4pm I started to feel sketchy at work, and was clearly braindead the rest of the day.  I had a massage before dinner - was really good, started to feel like jelly.  I'm trying my dardest to stay up until 10pm tonight.

No spotting yet.

Update - CD29:
Jet lag has caught up with me!  I was up at 2am this morning, couldn't fall back asleep!  I did manage to get to sleep around 6am, only to be woken up by my wake up call at 7am.  D'Oh!  I was sooo tired this morning (a bit of coffee really helped).  I made it through today, now I'm at the 5pm sketchy-head time.  2am was NOT COOL.  We're going out to dinner tonight with some coworkers in a cool part of Shanghai, hopefully I can keep it together!  :)

Spotting.  That's ok, she held off as long as she could.  And this afternoon I'm having some massive potentially-endo-related pains.  Booo.  It is making me walk funny.  I am going to pass it off as related to the massage...? 

Some random notes to related to comments:
-I will be in this time zone for 3 weeks
-No time to adjust getting back!  I'm totally screwed!
-Dr T since November 2010. 
-Thanks for the lap advice, JB!  Nice to know it isn't a big deal, I am slightly worried. I am going to try and persuade Dr Awesome to do one. 

So CHINA blocks blogger, so I am only able to post through trickery!  So I can see your comments, but I can't comment.  Sheesh.

Jet Lag

So I'm becoming terribly anxious about jet lag on my upcoming trip.  Um, prayer buddy, if you're there, could you knock a few my way about this?

I am NOT good with time changes.  I got to bed 10-ish, sleep by 10:30-ish, up around 7:30-ish.  Like, every day.  Including most weekends.  I am a fountain of good sleep hygiene.  (Have been complimented on my sleep hygiene by my doc friend - emerg doctors work ridiculous 28 hour shifts, and thus do not have good sleep hygiene).

This means I'm not very capable of switching it up.  This week I've tried to start changing my sleeping hours, to get ready for Shanghai... and it's been a moderate disaster. 

Sunday night:  Goal was midnight, only made it to 10:30pm.  Fail.
Mon-Tues: Better, up until midnight.  Still woke up at like 7ish am.  Very tired.  Very cranky, irritable, grumpy, in the evenings.  Poor DH.
Wed:  Best, up until 1am.  Slept in until 8-ish am.  Went for a walk at 11pm (11pm!  Who goes for walks to the library at 11pm?  Scandalous!), which helped keep me up.

So I've managed to do only a slight time change, and it's been super hard on me/us (as in, right now it is 11:30pm, I want to just go to sleep.  No - must stay up until 1am.)  How on earth will I do a full 12 hours?!  I can't be grumpy and irritable around colleagues, that's just not cool.

I've done these huge time changes twice before in life - and I am one of those people that really does take a day for every hour of time change.  I predict I won't feel ok until my second week over there.  I also feel like someone punched me in the stomach when I stay up so far past my bedtime, and I don't just become irritable, I can easily descend into a mess, where I somewhat resemble a toddler.  It isn't pretty.... I just hope it doesn't get that far.

In other IF news:  today I saw Dr T.  Last week we had talked about a grand review of my progress, which she did.  We talked about it, and while some of my other symptoms have gotten slightly better, there hasn't been too much overall improvement.  So we agreed, I am going to Dr Awesome when I get back, and from there we'll wait and see what he figures out (if anything).

She's with me on my thoughts on endo, so if he agrees and finds endo, only then I think I would go back to her for more treatment, for that specific case.  For I seem to be stumping her.

Which makes me worry I don't have something simple wrong... if I have some obscure genetic issue or something, I'm out.  We're adopting.  But let's not get ahead of ourselves, shall we?

White Sugar

So I admit it, I'm a bit of a nutrition nerd.

Something happened today that totally flabbergasted me.

My boss came into a meeting with some fresh fruit.  Blueberries and raspberries and such.  I was thinking, "Good for her, snacking on something healthy for a change!"
And then, she left the room, and came back with sugar packets!  She proceeded to dump like three packets of WHITE SUGAR on FRUIT.

My eyeballs popped out of my head.  I think I even sputtered something like, "But that's SO bad for you!" then realized it is not my place, and quickly transitioned into work talk.

Really?  White sugar?  On FRUIT?  That isn't good for anyone.  Nevermind that she's preg, you can set that aside.  Nevermind that she probably had bad enough endo to be infertile for a while.  It is bad for you if you are not TTC at all!  It is bad for you if you're a MAN, baby!

So I like to think most educated people that speak English have gotten the newsflash that white sugar, white bread, white rice, etc., is bad for you.  But I still see these random examples that astound me.  And sure - what is 'healthy' is different for different people, there are different levels of healthy, certainly.  And I myself prefer white sugar to high fructose corn syrup if I only have the choice between the two (and somehow choosing neither is out).  But... fruit is already sweet!!

It's not to say I'm perfect (yes, the view from my high horse is lovely, thank you), or that there shouldn't be 'sometimes foods' - I love sometimes food, I've eaten quite a lot of pie in the last few days....  but really.  Food is fuel for your bod, not just something that tastes good. 

I even pray that my lenten prayer buddy is eating healthy, even though she has bigger things on her plate.  But I can't help slipping it in!

Ok, back to our regularly scheduled 2WW.  My temp rose in one day instead of it's usual two days - so that's good!!  If it wasn't for this mysterious abdomen pain, I would think maybe this isn't such a bad cycle after all.  They do say a long cycle often precedes a lucky cycle....!  So I'm hoping AF can hold off a few extra days this month.

Finally, hello LH!

Finally, CD18, my LH surged.  Sheesh.  Super late, right?  I am wondering - should I ditch my herbs?  Keep going with them?

Thankfully, it seems like we won't have the data by next Monday, so that crazy-hours meeting won't be until at least the Thursday or Friday of my trip.

Interesting thing happened today - so at work, the running joke forever (not sure why this is funny, but it was oft quoted) was that my Boss was pregnant.  For like three years this randomly gets inserted into conversation, people laugh.  She was quite good natured about it, considering they were probably TTC.  She even laughed after her endo sugery (when she was puffy) she should wear a shirt "I'm not pregnant I'm just fat".

So now she IS pregnant (and again, she's already looking like 9 mo since it's twins), the joke isn't funny, so they've moved the joke to me.  Randomly I'll out of the blue get asked if I'm pg.  I laugh it off - and really, I'm in such better shape (thanks to all you ladies!) than last fall, it doesn't really bug me, they're just being guys. (ahem, dumbasses)

But today this came up, and it was a 25 year old colleague (little C) and another colleague (big V).  Little C made a quip about me being pg, which I denied, and big V told him, "you know, some people are TTC, and they might not like such jokes".  My face ignored both of them (I was walking slightly ahead of them), but I was like "A-Ha!" - I think Mr and Mrs Big V might be TTC, and maybe they're already into it a few months (and if you'll recall, those first few months are really surprising and tend towards heart breaking).  Because in my experience, unless you've had some trouble, it doesn't even cross your mind that not everyone gets pg at the drop of a hat. 

So maybe we've got some more company.  Interesting.  Or my colleagues have figured out that although baby crazy and not particularly enthralled by work, I still walk among them, something is up.  But I prefer to think the former.

Have a good weekend! My bff is down from Ottawa for a visit, that will be so nice.  She isn't married yet (still single), so it is super hard for her to relate to IF, since she's a step behind me, but she tries to be nice.