Down in the Dumps

22 weeks, 5 days

First of all, I am thinking - "How can I be so sad today?  See above!  I am 22 weeks, 5 days!  Hooray!".  But sad I am still.

DH leaves tonight for the big Vietnam trip.  :(
I am going to miss him soooo much!

I do not want to go.  The reason I am not going is of course because we have a little Appleseed on board, which I am SO thankful for.  I prefer to have my little Appleseed a million times to taking a trip - even now looking through old Instra.gram photos I clearly separate them in my mind into before (look at me!  I don't know my wait is about to end!)/after Appleseed (look at me!  Secretly pg there!), I still can't believe our blessing to have her around! 

And it's not like I don't want him to go - it will be good family bonding for him, I would hate for him to miss out on such a great trip.  (Although, haha, it would have been good family bonding for me too - I like his sisters, I think travelling with them would be fun)

It's just that I will miss him like crazy.  He's going to be gone a month!  Oy vey.  He's such a wonderful DH.  I am really so very lucky.  But this makes it harder to not have him around!

We had our choir Christmas Cantata last night, and about halfway through I had to jet - I was staring to black out a bit.  Just too much standing, I guess.  Yikes.  But sitting down made me feel fine (well, a bit shaky still, but not blacking-out-ish).  DH was in the audience, so of course he came out and sat with me.  Ha - good thing my midwife was there too!  Not that I needed her, just that she was there to confirm everything was ok.  As did my other midwife buddy.

I felt sort of dizzy though the rest of the night/through the night - like in early pregnancy.  It is contributing to my sad mood, I think.  And the gloomy weather.

My Mom will come for a few days next week, then I'm off to my Dad's for a week, then the fun NYE for a few days, then my Aunt comes for a week....  but this week will be tough.  Not only am I DH-less, but I'm super busy.  Too busy.  I've been way too busy lately - that's how it is around the holidays.

And I know not everyone has found their DH yet, I am so lucky to have him at all.

But still... miss you already, DH!