Rad Advent Calender!

23 weeks, 1 day

So, you are guessing by now my DH is crafty, right?
Yes.

And you know he's gone away for Christmas.

So he made his dear wife an advent calendar of course!

Like, cute x 1 million?  YES! See, it has all these little cubbies for presents!!

I'm not so good with eating chocolate every morning all of December, so we've been doing little presents/poems for the last few years.  (I get HANGRY too easily!  Hah!)


This year it is filled with fun things like teeny tiny little books, socks, etc.  So thoughtful!  It was a total surprise Dec 1st morning!  I LOVE it.  Totally fun to open - makes me feel loved even though he is so far away.

Sure, it is not really following actual Advent and all...

Love you, DH!  xxoo

Down in the Dumps

22 weeks, 5 days

First of all, I am thinking - "How can I be so sad today?  See above!  I am 22 weeks, 5 days!  Hooray!".  But sad I am still.

DH leaves tonight for the big Vietnam trip.  :(
I am going to miss him soooo much!

I do not want to go.  The reason I am not going is of course because we have a little Appleseed on board, which I am SO thankful for.  I prefer to have my little Appleseed a million times to taking a trip - even now looking through old Instra.gram photos I clearly separate them in my mind into before (look at me!  I don't know my wait is about to end!)/after Appleseed (look at me!  Secretly pg there!), I still can't believe our blessing to have her around! 

And it's not like I don't want him to go - it will be good family bonding for him, I would hate for him to miss out on such a great trip.  (Although, haha, it would have been good family bonding for me too - I like his sisters, I think travelling with them would be fun)

It's just that I will miss him like crazy.  He's going to be gone a month!  Oy vey.  He's such a wonderful DH.  I am really so very lucky.  But this makes it harder to not have him around!

We had our choir Christmas Cantata last night, and about halfway through I had to jet - I was staring to black out a bit.  Just too much standing, I guess.  Yikes.  But sitting down made me feel fine (well, a bit shaky still, but not blacking-out-ish).  DH was in the audience, so of course he came out and sat with me.  Ha - good thing my midwife was there too!  Not that I needed her, just that she was there to confirm everything was ok.  As did my other midwife buddy.

I felt sort of dizzy though the rest of the night/through the night - like in early pregnancy.  It is contributing to my sad mood, I think.  And the gloomy weather.

My Mom will come for a few days next week, then I'm off to my Dad's for a week, then the fun NYE for a few days, then my Aunt comes for a week....  but this week will be tough.  Not only am I DH-less, but I'm super busy.  Too busy.  I've been way too busy lately - that's how it is around the holidays.

And I know not everyone has found their DH yet, I am so lucky to have him at all.

But still... miss you already, DH!

What a WONDERFUL IF Blogger community!

22 weeks, 3 days

Soon after I announced I was preggo, the lovely and talented JBTC soon emailed me and offered to lend me her fetal doppler.  This was shortly after she had experienced her own loss.

How amazing, right?  What a lovely community of IF bloggers we're all in - I was immensely touched by her gesture.  The fetal doppler package has now arrived - every day DH and I enjoy listening to our little Appleseed's whump-whump-whump.  It is so lovely and reassuring!

Don't worry, JBTC - we didn't have ultrasound gel around, but it seems to work fine with Aloe Gel (hey, also good for the skin!), so we're golden.

Much to my surprise, JBTC also included two adorable outfits for the Appleseed!  DH LOVES them - particularly the purple one with the cupcake!  Hah!  Cute!  AND, she also included a little Snuggle Blanket toy for the Appleseed - again, super cute!

THANK YOU SO MUCH, JBTC!

I am crossing my fingers and hoping for everyone still waiting - I'm sure this fetal doppler will be off to a good home soon!

Baby Funeral

21 weeks, 6 days

So tonight DH and I attended a baby funeral.  Needless to say, it was quite emotional. 

DH's boss had twins 5 1/2 months ago, and one of them passed away last week.  He was born with a birth defect (heart), but I'm not sure of the exact details.  He underwent many surgeries - he was in a fantastic hospital, but in the end he succumbed.

Gosh, it was just so sad.  My jaw is still tight from trying to keep all the crying in.  That poor family!  And the Mom... it was heartbreaking.  Yes, the other twin is healthy, but it really hit me tonight just how sad it really is.  I couldn't go up and look at him in his little coffin.  I know that is wimpy... but the little baby was Asian, we're going to have an Asian-ish baby... it is just too close to home.

They played a slide show of pics of the baby with the family, and I just kept thinking - "I hope I never see Appleseed with tubes in her face" over and over.

My own bosslady's twins are also not healthy - well, one is, but the other one needs a big surgery.  Again, I'm unclear as to the details.  I do not believe it is life threatening at this point - thank goodness!

Remember when I thought it would be cute to have HOM?  Yeah, I take that back.  I'm so happy with my little singleton.

Rest in peace little baby.

4th midwife visit!

21 weeks, 3 days

Hello hello!  Sorry I've been a little AWOL - it is hard to cram writing a novel into November - I just barely finished (had to take yesterday off work!).

I've been having some bleeding gums - boooo.  I did a little oil pulling yesterday - and it looks like I need to make flossing more of a priority.  But it's ok of course, whatever is best for the Appleseed!

Here is the update from my midwife appt on Monday!  As you can see, I'm running out of questions - can you think of any I should ask?

Me: Can i check my own cervix dilation? [Like, so I know when to call them at the start of labour, and I'm thinking - as IF ladies you check that thing all the time]
Marvelous Midwife: Sure, but have to be careful not to break membranes.  This takes sometimes a few years to teach midwifery students.

So it is kind of a bad idea.  Ok, at least I know!

Me:  Babies sometimes born not breathing - what its different between you and hospital?
MM:  Not much.  They can intibate babies born with merconium in their fliud if needed. 

But if I have merconium in my fluids we'll go to the hospital for sure so that's fine.  There is a list of things that if they go slightly wrong (like, say, group B strep), we'll go to the hospital fo' shizzle.

Me: What about lying on my back?  Can I do it?
MM:  MYTH!  You can totally do it!  That recommendation is based on bad science!  You would pass out from lack of blood before the baby would not get any.  And you wouldn't pass out - you'd turn.  Just not ok during labour.

I LOVE this.  I like sleeping on my back for like 5-10 min in the morning as I'm waking up.  And as I'm starting to get bigger, I was worrying I might be getting close to cutting the baby's blood supply off, so I was feel guilty.  HAH!  No more guilt!  I can lie on my back all I want - except during labour.  Fine.  Hoorah!  AND, it seemed like terrible design - like lying on your back is some secret you have to know, otherwise your baby will end up delayed?  Doesn't make sense.

Me: When should i go off for mat leave?   
MM:  Standard is 37 weeks.

This seems a bit early to me.  For the ladies out there that are lucky enough to have had babies already - when did you go off?  If I go off at 37 weeks and don't have the Appleseed until 40 weeks, that seems like a waste of mat leave?  She said she'd write me a note if I'm not feeling up to working right at the end.

The sexy ultrasound edition.

19 weeks, 5 days!

Today was the sexy ultrasound!!!  By that I mean - she could determine the Appleseed's sex!

I was rather nervous and excited all morning.  I was sort of freaking about drinking 1.5 litres of water and then not peeing.  Like, I use the ladies room every hour or two...how on earth was I going to be able to do this!?!?

And I was a bit worried about birth defects.  We skipped the down's syndrome blood test (on purpose, but...), so I was hoping we'd see a healthy little Appleseed in there.

Everything looked good, all the bits and pieces in the right order.  Phew!  I made sure to ask to confirm Appleseed had a four chambered heart, after reading this informative website.

And now what you've been waiting for........

IT'S A GIRL!!!!

Wow.  Our little Appleseed-ette!  I almost cried in the ultrasound office!  Suddenly it is so much more real - I'm having a little girl!  Yikes!  Wowzas!  So exciting!!!!

I've been accidentally slipping in a 'she' here and there, and then correcting myself - but I was right!  I had a dream last night Appleseed was a boy - but I was wrong!  Hah.

Appleseed is measuring just 2 days shy of average for 19 wks 5 days - maybe really I ought to be due on April 13th instead of April 10th, I am thinking.  If I am lucky enough to make it that far, I won't stress about being overdue until maybe a week or so after that, then.  The 23rd.  :)

BUT, Appleseed's legs are measuring a bit later - aka, she is 'tall'!  Wow!  Well, a tiny bit tall.  Cool, right?

There was this cool moment when the tech (who turned out to be from my home town) wasn't moving the ultrasound wand and we were just looking at Appleseed - she looked so chill in there.  She had one legged crossed over the other, and she was sucking her fingers - just hanging out, having a nice afternoon!  Love it!

Oh, and I just realised I have not yet updated the final decision:  I am not going to Vietnam.  I don't really think Appleseed would have been in any danger, but this just seemed...easiest.

The Appleseed Mix

18 weeks, 5 days

Sorry I've been away from blogland so much lately.  November is really tough - I feel as if when I'm typing I should be writing my darn novel [have you heard about NaNoWriMo?  It is super fun.].  (see sidebar - so far I'm doing ok for wordcount, but it is a constant struggle!)

So here is a short story:  My bosslady was telling me they picked four classical songs to play over and over while her twins were still growing in her tummy.  She said they particularly like 'Flight of the bumble bee', and as they got older they would kick in time to the music when they played it.  They even skyped with her Dad (who is back in the old country) who could see the kicks to the music.

After they were born, she said if they played the song, the babies would go crazy, kind of dancing in their crib to the music.

I think that is all super cute.  So DH and I have made an Appleseed mix, to likewise encourage the enjoyment of music by the Appleseed.  We have five songs, not four, but the idea is the same.  She said it has to be a short playlist and all classical - which again I stretch a tiny bit.  She also said the other three songs they had no clear reaction to, so it really was their preference.  Cool, right?

Without further ado, the Appleseed Mix!

Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker Suite 

I've always loved the Nutcracker Suite - it is nice now as Christmas is sort of on the way.  Will I still be able to stomach it in March? 

Ravel's Bolero

This has a strong melody that just keeps repeating - perhaps good for young brains? 

Bach's Tocatta in Fugue in D  

Have I mentioned my Dad is an organist?  This is my favourite song to hear.  Yes, I'm not too original, this is like the most famous organ piece.  Listen past the first few bars (the "scary organ music") and it is actually quite pretty.  Ok, Ok, I only had the MP3 of some weird violin version, but maybe I'll get an organ version soon!

 Grieg's In the Hall of the Mountain King 

I've thought this was a really great piece of music since I was a kid. Maybe therefore Appleseed with think so too?  I always thought it was Mountain LION King though.  Hrmmm.   Anyway, same deal with a simple melody that repeats.

Mason William's Classical Gas

This is where I stretch the classical music thing a little.  Classical Gas is not the same as classical music.  But am I the only hippie here, or is this song just sort of groovy?  It really gets you tappin' your foot along.