Thursday, December 29, 2011

Happy New Year's!

We are leaving tomorrow for our New Year's Eve ski trip with my University buddies.  Wish me luck!  I will have a former IF lady in attendence, but there still will be
  • a super cute 4 year old
  • 2 toddlers (one of whom will call me "Auntie CS" - how cute!)
  • 4 babies
  • 1 on the way (but this is to Boston, a former IF-er, so that's not too bad.  This one was a surprise for them, which is kinda hopeful - they had to do several IUIs for #1, now #2 is out of the blue!  She's going back from mat leave already preggo.)
Ai ya!  And an engaged couple who wants to have babies ASAP.  Whenever I hear that now, I think "if you are lucky!" in sort of a snarky way in my head.  But hopefully it stays in my head, and doesn't pop out of my mouth.

I have STILL been eating candies and chocolates like it is going out of style.  Which it is.  Come NYE, goodbye refined sugar!  I just found the dehyrated sugar cane I was looking for at the asian grocery store near my in-laws - it is asian and carribean and indian - it was in the carribean section I found what I was looking for.  It is totally true - the more sugar you eat, the more you crave it.  At least this panela (also called Rapadura) comes with some vitamins attached, instead of leeching the vitamins out of you.  We don't eat a lot of sweetened food anyhow, so I don't anticipate using it too often, besides for the root beer.  It's those darn chocolate bon bons on the coffee table that have been getting me the last few days!

I am hoping to make some root beer in the new year!  :)

Anyway, I hope everyone has a lovely ringing in of 2012!  We traditionally do it singing auld lyne syng accompanied by an accordian.  Fun, right?  Despite all the kiddos, it is really a nice vibe we have going on New Years - even when I was younger, I always preferred to spend NYE with good friends, and not out at a bar or club.

And you better believe I will be raising a glass of champagne for all you IF ladies!

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Ow Ow Ow.

I feel like I'm in a lot of pain lately.

I just had a brutal period.  The worst I've ever had.

And my right boob did not stop being sore at the onset of my period like it was supposed to.  (sigh)  After some Dr Google, I think maybe it is a cyst or something?  It is annoying.  It hurts particularly when I sneeze/cough/laugh/lift my arms/hug/breathe very deeply.  I think I will call and book a dr appt today just to be sure.

So... maybe this dairy thing isn't working out for me so well.  Bah.  I love goat dairy.  But if my next period is even worse... it is too much.  I'll have to start taking pain medication (for now I live with the very painful cramps because I don't like taking things if I don't have to).  Or it is from all the crap I've been eating (yes, me!) due to the holidays!  I've been having sugar almost every day.  Well... ok, every day.  And bits of cow milk.

More on that later, we're off to my sis-in-law's for a buckwheat waffle fun Holiday breakfast!  :)

Monday, December 26, 2011

Prayer Buddy reveal and Christmas update

I was praying for The Surprise of Unfolding.  What a beautiful blog title.  She is not infertile, but a busy wife and Mom, that in itself was a lesson.

Christmas turned out to be pretty fun.  It was a bit stressful at times - while I love my Auntie dearly, she can be a bit particular and needs to have things 'just so', which can be trying.  In the end it was a lovely day, though.  We had two guests for dinner - a friend my Aunt had just met who was here from Switzerland and did not have anyone to share Christmas with, and a guy from my choir who also didn't have anyone to have to share Christmas dinner with.  I'm so glad we had the extra guests, it made it even more festive.  And I loved hearing about Switzerland!  (I am part Swiss)

It was a super fun meal, if a bit late (I should put the turkey in an hour earlier than it says on the package!  augh!) - but man, what a lot of cleanup!  There is a reason we only use the good dishes once or twice a year.  :)

I just want to REST today (did not sleep well last night), but we're having more friends over this evening - yikes!  It will be nice to see them though. And hopefully we'll go out for dinner, and then maybe beg off.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

I might explode

Very very early spotting has started.  And I've never seen that to mean "Implantation Bleeding" - nope, this is it. 

I am all swear words and furious in my head.  And strangely quiet.  I can't sleep.

I don't want to do this anymore.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

One line

But my Boobs are SO sore!  They seem to be getting more sore not less.
Before I tested I was starting to think - "Maybe this is it?"
But no.  (Not yet?)

This is the trouble with early BFNs - it may just show your test isn't accurate enough.  Or it maybe be telling you to give up the good fight.

Onward.  Until I hit CD31 it won't be an IFMe record.
(But I was sorta hoping for a Christmas miracle)

Monday, December 19, 2011

Still waiting

Still no spotting.  It is grand.  But a quick review of IF Me history shows us that this has happened before - spotting began on CD31 one weird and wacky August cycle.

So unless I get to CD32, I should just hold my horses.

Ok, ok, easier said than done!  I may POAS tomorrow morning for fun.

Our little long weekend home was quite fun!  My Aunt and Uncle spoiled us with Christmas goods!  :)  We just bought a tree today - it smells lovely in here now!  :)

Sunday, December 18, 2011

No spotting yet.

It is a little bit making me crazy.  Spotting should have been here Thursday.  Well, no, what is making me crazy is that my boobs are still sore - normally they ease off a bit.

But maybe they are a little bit less now?  It is really hard to say.

I am here in my hometown for early Christmas, so not much time to chat, sorry!  It has been a whirlwind.  :)

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Plans they are a-changin'


There is no pg coming this month from me.  AF should start to herald her arrival tomorrow-ish.  There are 0 signs of pg - I haven't even cried once, boobs are barely sore, nothing else is really out of shape (no mysterious heartburn, etc.)

SEE, this is our sixth month trying after DH's numbers are up.  If that was it, we'd be preggo by now, according to statistics.  I am back to suspecting CM.  Maybe.  Or endo.  Maybe.  Oh well, at least I'll be able to have a glass of wine when I'm home for Christmas this weekend.

I'm rather chill about all this.  I've been really chill for a while now.  I think it's the Vervain. Or you, prayer buddy?  Work is in total crisis right now - barely bothering me (made me late for choir, but I wasn't even ruffled).  We've just had a HUGE change to our Christmas plans - I'm cool with it.

My Auntie Em called to say Auntie D was no longer cool with Christmas being at her place (sugar bush!) in Quebec, so now Christmas is moved to our house, and Auntie D is out.  Oh well.  We'll probably have a nicer time here anyhow, and I am not sad to wish the 10 hours of driving in the car goodbye!

I was sitting at choir practise thinking tonight - you know, if I had a baby last year, we probably would never have joind this church.  And I quite like it.  So maybe... it wasn't all for the worst.  (Although I still think in our first year of marriage I would have made the best new mother).  This new more positive/chill me is interesting.  I like her.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Just checking in

I have been SO TIRED today!  It is like I have been in a fog all day!  After dinner we are going to walk to the library then I am going TO BED!  Blargh.  Of course, my thoughts turn to pg... but I've been fooled before, so I'm going to try and keep my head on straight.

I got 2 pg announcements today.
  1. Friend of DH's.  Last of one of his circle of friends to not have a kid, besides us (of course).  Perhaps they had been trying for a while...?  Quite possible.
  2. A coworker ('s wife).  I think they also may have been trying for a while - but in their case I suspect 'a while' was maybe more like 6 months?  You never can tell though, maybe it was longer.
But neither is really bothering me. Which is good.  Which is also a little scary, because I feel sort of removed from it all.  I met up with The Accident and my NYE buddy on Friday, and niether had their kids and neither talked about their kids at all.  NICE.  :)  It was very enjoyable.  I'm slowly turning into a kid-hater... :(

I did get to see Jelly Belly on the weekend!  Just the two of us for lunch - very fun!  (vegan, raw, of course - yum).  And I got to see her cute house (she lives near some friends of ours - small world!).  :)

We had a really great choir concert last night (and then choir Christmas party!  fun!).  A mass choir with several different denominations - now THAT was a resounding Hallelujah chorus alright!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Falling out of love with...

...Dr Nora.

I had another Dr Nora appt last night.  I do not think it was very productive.  It is quite expensive to go there for such appointments.

A lot of the time was spent lecturing me about Napro.  Yes, I know, it is better, great, more natural - but what my husband and I have decided it to do another IUI in January.  So nagging at me just is frustrating.  I calmly said many times, that No, I am not going to see another doc before then.  This is what we have decided is right for us next.  I now look back and realized how much money I paid to just go around in a circle with her about this for part of the appointment.

For really, every new doc/avenue of discovery is stressful and takes up lots of time.  I do not want to be monitored before January.  Dr Nora also suggested she refer me to a doc in Farawaysville - no way!  Maybe in another year Farawaysville would be on the table, but for right now, it is out of the question.  No way am I traveling over an hour away (several suburbs out of town) for another doc.

And it isn't just up to me.  DH is not wanting to go to another doc either.  At this point I would really have to drag him.  Maybe next year if things are still not working?  After the lap?  But for now it isn't what is best for us.

For I have this feeling, however much it may be unfounded, that our IUI is going to Work.  And that is what I'm going with for now.  I do not think this cycle is going to work, nor do I think the next one will.  My money (literally!  hah!) is on the January IUI.  Prayer buddy - please pray for that one!  (Oh no!  Am I jinxing it now by such talk?!)

Dr Nora and I also discussed my bad skin, since I think it is my body telling me something I'd like to decode, and fix.  She said she'd have to go away and think about it - which is fine, but that's what she said last time, and the time before.  Then she started saying how it was probably because I had high progesterone in my follicular phase, but I do not - and I have already emailed her that cycle of monitoring (which she lost, and asked me to resend). 

Ugh.  As I become less baby-crazy than I was, I have less tolerance for all this.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Ketchup and Liebster Blog Award!

I just wrote this up in an email to a friend, and I thought - why not share with my blogsisters?  Sugar is bad for you - it leeches nutriets from you when you eat - not good for the infertile gal.  And high fructose corn syrup is even worse!
So here is a FANTASTIC Ketchup recipe.  Enjoy!

First, you must listen to this:
(I am pretty sure they are singing about the healthfulness of fermented goods, and how they aid digestion, and how ketchup used to be good for you instead of bad for you, right?  The chorus is "give us back lactofermentation!" in spanish, I'm told.)

Here is recipe, directly from nourishing traditons: (recommend it highly)

3C canned tomato paste, organic
1/4C whey
1T sea salt
1/2C maple syrup
1/4t cayenne pepper
3 cloves garlic, mased/peeled
1/2C fish sauce
(I used a 369mL can of tomato paste, so I halved all the ingredients, except garlic.)

Mix ingredients until well blended.  Place in a mason jar (top of ketchup should be at least 1" below mouth).  Leave at room temp for 2 days, then transfer to refridgerator.
It really is the best thing ever.  Waaay better than H.einz.  So flavourful.  I just realized not most non-Asian households don't necessarily have fish sauce lying around - don't be daunted, run out to the Chinese grocery store and get some.  It does not make the Ketchup taste fishy, the overall effect is wonderfulness.

Oh, also, you can't use whey protein isolate or anything like that, you should use the real deal.
If you don' tknow how to get whey, here it is, easy and fun!

Take some yoghurt (unsweetend, with live cultures), and put it in a clean dishtowel and let it drip for 24hours at room temp (I tie the dishtowel to a wooden spoon, and put it in a glass pitcher).  You will be left with a cream-cheese like substance in the towel and the whey is your drippings!  Fun!  (This is how I make goat cream cheese!  yum!)  It is also a by-product when you make your own cottage cheese.

Extra whey can be saved in the fridge for 6 months and can be used to ferment all sorts of nice things.


And most excitingly - I got a Liebster Blog award!  As soon as I saw it (on JBTC), I was hoping to get one!  Firstly, because I love IF blogging, and secondly, because I have a tiny crush on German (the language - we saw each other in high school for a while, but nothing ever came of it)

I was the lucky recipient of a Liebster Blog Award from Frustated Musings of a Seemingly Calm Gal. Thank you, JB!  :)

The Liebster Award spotlights up and coming bloggers with fewer than 200 followers.  In return for the award, the recipient bestows the award on five of their favourite bloggers.  
In no particular order (sorry if you've already got one!)
  1. St Rita's Roses (sorry, she is private)
  2. The 2 Week Wait (what can I say, she cracks me up!)
  3. Learning to Swim in a Sea of Baby Bumps (started the IF group in TO I love going to!)

Appleseed grows

Lilypie Maternity tickers