Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Serious GF screwup! D'Oh!

So I am a total dumkopf!
I've been trying to go gluten free for the last couple of months, to see if it makes me feel better or what.


Rye has gluten in it.  I've been eating Ryvita like it's going out of style.  I thought something that taste so 'healthy'  (aka, not that good) certainly must be good for you!  WTIF!

I thought I remembered that Rye didn't have gluten, so I didn't look it up.  M'I bad. 

So... I guess I sort of have to start again.  And cross off all those "GF check"s in my daily IF diary (yes, although I stopped logging temp, I still keep a record of other signs and days).  Geez.  I am getting a bit tired of gluten free... I cheated on Saturday, because I was out eating Taramosalata (yum!) at a Greek restaurant, and it came with pita, and I was feeling very hungry and feeling naughtly....

Saturday, June 25, 2011

I am obsessed on a daily basis with two things: tongue and lunula.


Today, we will talk about the tongue.

Traditional Chinese Medicine is all about your tongue.  So at work when I'm washing my hands in the ladies, if no one is about, I like to take a quick look every day - or as many times a day as I can.

For a while it had been looking rather lovely.  Only a bit of red tip (Heat in the Heart Zang - um, aka, stress?).  Everyday I would congratulate myself on working so hard on my tongue and seeing results.  But... by 'working' I suppose I mean trying to stress less.

But now, it's gotten deep red.  Poot.  Wrong direction.  It is supposed to be all nice and pink and smooth.  Work work work.  Three weeks ago I asked to be promoted early (since I feel I am working above my current level since my boss left) - this week's answer "No.".  Blarg.  I will be at this level for the next year, no matter what.  It is lame.  I am seeing it as they get a 'free' year out of me.  And summer is our natural busy cycle - the craziness has begun.  I was hoping to put it off another week, but I got pulled in early on a high priority problem.  yippee.
Which brings me to one of my least-favourite IF comments ever:

"How is my tongue supposed to look?"
"Pink and smooth - like a baby's tongue."
and then in my head "I DON'T KNOW WHAT A BABY'S TONGUE LOOKS LIKE BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A BABY!!!"  (and much stomping of mental feet).

(you know sometimes how certain comments just stick in your head, and get repeated there again and again??)

Again, I'm having more and more "lower abdominal" pain.  Poot.  Mittelschmirz is on it's way.  All week it's just be a bit achy now and then, but today it actually hurts.  I think I may have to book an appt with the family doc to talk about it.  I have been sort of putting it off, especially with work so busy now... but I dunno... anything done to fix it will probably take ages, so I might as well kick it off sooner rather than later...

Sunday, June 19, 2011

The Marvelous Midwife


In a small-world event, it turns out a lady in my new Church choir is the backup midwife for Tishi.  Neat, right?

So I thought - this is my chance.  This is a new group of people in my life (our new Church family, so to speak), I want to start things off with this IF stuff out in the open.  I had practised saying "No, we're infertile right now" if anyone asked if we had children - but it didn't really come up.  And that's sort of a way too personal way to answer that question, anyway.  (Like if you ask someone how they're doing and they say "It burns when I pee." - you're then like, "Ok.  Um... that's too bad?")

So at the Church picnic, I had pictured in my head saying to the Marvelous Midwife "Oh, I know Tishi, who is due in August", and she would ask me how I knew her, and I would say "Tishi runs the infertility group I go to" very calmly.  I didn't quite pull it off super calmly, but it went ok.  Only a bit teary.  And here I am thinking I'm doing so well with all of this!  I still can't tell a nice lady about IF without tearing up a little.

Later at the picnic we talked about it a little more - it felt good.  She seemed to be very emphatic about it, which was nice.   :)  And maybe IF we can ever catch, she could be my midwife!!!  (Which is so cool, it is I think hard to get a midwife here, hopefully it will help to have an 'in' - and Tishi tells me her clinic is very good!). 

And away I go putting the cart before the horse while I'm counting my chickens!  ;P

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Patience is a virtue.

I'm sick of waiting.  Patience may be a virtue, but I'm not feeling very virtuous right now!
DH and I are thinking about maybe IUI next cycle.

Here are my whiny reasons why:
  • Somehow all the recent IF pg announcements have really hit me - I want to be on that bandwagon!!!  Can't this be catchy?!
  • Although I said I never would do this, it came up in conversation with DH - and yes, I ideally would love a baby to arrive in June (so we'd start to end up in May, since I can't bet the first one will work).  Although of course I would be happy with a baby any time.
  • And if IUI doesn't work (or two), I need to get back to figuring out why the heck not.... chiropractor/naturopath, etc, needs to be explored.  (As I'm here in my TEBB days now)
I know it is supposed to take (at least) 3 months for DH's numbers to climb... but I don't wanna wait....

Ok.  I know this just whining.  And I know all you lovely Catholic ladies are rolling your eyes.  I know all the recent BFPs hit you just as hard (I can think of like at least 4 in the last two weeks).

I don't really know what to do.  Wait?  God's time?  Or just go for it?  Is that being selfish?  Unnatural?

Monday, June 13, 2011

TALK about making a baby with ease!

Re-reading this, it struck me I should clarify something at the outset:  I am lucky enough to have 17 cousins.  The word 'cousin' below refers to a different person every time.


So when I was home this weekend, it really struck me how easy it seems to be for the rest of my family to procreate (excepting the cousin's finace with endo - we'll see how they roll after they get married).

My dear cousin related this hilarious <roll eyes> story to me - how when the doctors told them getting her tubes tied was only 99% certain to avoid pregnancy, her husband said - "Doc, please - you've got to make it 100%, my wife will kill me if we get pregnant again!".  <insert laughs>

She's not being mean or anything, she doesn't know of my IF.  And I can now see - wouldn't relate.  She does have 4 children (with a miscarriage or two along the way), it is perfectly reasonable to no longer want additional children.  But it seems so.. like, she's only 3 years older than me, and she's DONE have kids.  Here I am, wishing my way to begin - and she's been someone's Mom for 18 years already!

And some friend of my other cousin actually did get pg after she'd had her tubes tied.  Like - WTIF.  Are you people for real?

And don't get my started on my cousin's baby mamma who smokes and bragged about drinking 2L of pop every day.  For some reason drinking so much pop bothers me more than her occasional cigarette - I am too obsessed by nutrition, one can see.  ("I don't really care how much sugar there is."  "It's not sugar it's high fructose corn syrup."  "Oh.  Well, I don't care.")

So apparently to get pg one should travel to Windsor, Ontario, and drink the water (or forgo water and drink pop).  Hrmm... maybe it is all the Vernor's, a semi-local brand of pop.  Wikipedia says you can buy it other places, but I've never seen/heard of anyone actually drink it anywhere else.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

"Gosh, sure am suprised to see you - NOT!"

"That was a bit obnoxious, my dear."

"Well... truth be told.... despite my boobies becoming less sore, I was sorta wondering..."


"Well - IF maybe you weren't coming.  Holding off on any warning of your visit until CD27 is so unlike you - "

"Yes, I got caught up with Aunt Flo duties elsewhere.  Can't be helped sometimes!"

"And I did get a tiny metallic taste in my mouth now and then... and on CD26, I felt nauseous at work in the afternoon."

"That was the chicken salad you had for lunch."

"Yes, it would seem so now Captain Obvious.  But all of those together..."

"Ah, I'm just f$ckin' with ya, CS!  I love visiting!  Wouldn't miss it for the world!"

Monday, June 6, 2011

And the boobies, they get less ouchy.

And so it begins.
It seems like the boobies turn less ouchy... in a day or two, the spotting will begin.  This is how it seems to work, since the boobies have begun to be ouchy a few months ago. 

Last night - yowzas!  Today... only painful  (I'd say a 3.5 on my Sore Boobs scale of 0-5, 5 being DON'T TOUCH ME).  Tomorrow will likely be less.  And so on.

Oh well.  The doc did mention he had a patient who did get pg the first month after DH surgery (so hopeful I did get), but obvi that's not how it is supposed to work.  The spermies take 3 months to grow.   So I need to be more patient.  2+ more months left. 

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Gluten Free, Dairy free flourless chocolate cake!


So while at the grocery store today I saw a chocolate cake mix, and I was like I WANT TO HAVE CHOCOLATE CAKE, but obvi cake from a mix isn't how I roll, so I whipped up this baby for desert tonight (we had company):


It was FANtastic.  AND, I got to eat it with vanilla goat-ice cream.  Double yum!!!  I am sometimes a very lucky girl.  :)

The website mentioned above it sorta cool - me being plagued with bad skin.  I've never cooked with Agave syrup before - I feel very ... well... haha, self-satisfied that the cake won't make my blood sugar go all nuts.  (JB - you can make this - just use egg replacer and you're home free!)

Ironically, the salad we ate with dinner will probably make my blood sugar go nuts tonight.  I thought asking our friends to bring a salad was the safest thing, with my cow dairy issues and gluten avoidance.  But hahah, they brought a (really good) salad that has instant noodles and SUGAR in it!  hahah.  I mean, I loved it and had seconds, but.. hahah - really?  Sugar?!?  And it's not like a teaspoon, it's like half a cup.

I'm such a nutrition snob.  She had a Cok.e Z.ero and she's still breastfeeding, but I'm just sayin'.

Thursday, June 2, 2011


Yes, you heard me.  Mittelschmerz.  I didn't use to have it, but now I do.  Pain on both sides.  For 1+ days.  This month it was quite uncomfortable.  I think I've had it for the last few months?  It really clicked when the ultrasound tech at Dr A's was like - "Oh, in a few days you'll feel the pain from the follicles bursting", I was dubious - but then - she was right!

What's the deal?

Is this a good sign or a bad sign or not a sign at all?  (The fact that me feeling it has seemingly changed.)


It is CD19 now, it's boob hurtin' time now....  before acupuncture/herbs I never had any of these symptoms, I'm pretty sure.  I would like to think they're a good sign... particularly since I did do a closely monitored cycle and all was well...and that was with boob hurtin' and mittelschmerzin'.

Appleseed grows

Lilypie Maternity tickers