Wednesday, November 30, 2011

3rd + 2x H/L/T

I am on the third in a string of colds.  Like, WTIF!  My Dad says people that get string colds either have poor hygiene or poor immune systems.  Since I have not changed my hygeniene, it means my immune system is low.  What the heck!  Ok, more working out for me.

And this third one has been a doozy - fever yesterday (had to leave work, I was in a bad way), and a little today (did not go in today, stayed on the bed/couch all day).  I don't know about y'all, but a fever (it was < 39'C, so not serious) I find so painful!  My skin hurts like crazy, particularly if it gets anything approaching cold.

But here is what I am finding annoying - I've been crying at the drop of a hat.  WTIF!  This doesn't normally happen in my follicular phase, maybe towards the end of luteal phase.  Can a cold/flu cause you to weep?  I was watching some silly law show on tv this afternoon, and someone said "in the best interest of the children" and I had like projectile tears leap to my eyes.  I cried at least a minute.  THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT A CHIMPANZEE.  Seriously.  (roll of my eyes).  It isn't like I'm happy or sad, I just can't stop crying.  So weird.

Anyway, new prayer buddy, I welcome you aboard the cruise ship IF ME, please pray for me to stop having random crying jags?

I can't go into work like this.  I am a total disaster.  The crying is over the top, never mind the disgusting nose/cough thing.  TMI, the cough has progressed to the almost-but-not-quite throwing up stage, because I am coughing so hard.  What a joy.

I think I will do a double High Low Thankful for today, I can't fit it all in a single.

  • I won Nanowrimo!  (as you can see by the sidebar at the left).  Phew!  It was tight this year!  Thank you Feather, it was nice working with you!  :)  (We companion novelled)
  • E is preggers!!!  NATURALLY!  On only 3 months of taking inositol to help her PCOS!  (vitamin)  Super awesome.  [And we are talking a lady here who hasn't had a period in years - not an easy case!]  Looking forward to seeing her and the rest of the TO IF gals in January!
  • A girl I went to school with had a baby last week, and it was diagnosed with a genetic kidney disease.  She may not live past one, and will need a transplant when she is two.  Pray for baby Dylan.
  • Ok, I don't really think I have a second low.  Something to do with this sickness, probably.  All the gory bits are already up above.
  • To the person who invented adding lotion to Kleenex - you have my sincerest thanks!  I am now out of the fancy Kleenex until DH gets home, my raw nose certainly thanks you.
  • Despite warning me to wear a warmer jacket and saying he wouldn't take care of me if I got sick again, my DH has done just that.  He took excellent care of me yesterday - and today he made me a pot of homemade turkey soup before he left for work, so I just had to heat it up all day.  And this is embarrassing, but he actually had to spoon feed me (homemade) broth yesterday during my low point.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

I am not alone on NYE!

Ladies, I feel SO wonderful today.  Misery loves company is a total understatement when it comes to IF, I think.

Last night was our first Christmas party of the season.  It is our traditional party with my university friends - the same group of people that will be on our traditional New Year's Eve ski trip.   The same group of friends were everyone but us has one or two kids already - except for the engaged couple, who have babies in their eyes.

This year the Chirstmas party was mayham - it seemed like there were a million kids underfoot.  Cute and everything, but... it sort of almost made me glad I didn't have one.  (At this party there are more people than will be at ski trip - there were like 60 people).

So at one point I'm talking to a friend's wife (and I have at the point suspect maybe they tried a bit for their kid - like 6 months), and she tells me she's pg with their second.  I say congrats and all that (meanwhile thinking - ah, life is so easy for you) - it doesn't even bother me anymore.  Especially the second kid (unless you're 18) - good for you, grow your family, that is nice.  BUT THEN SHE SAYS - "Yeah, this one was a surprise, especially after how hard it was to have the first one."

And it turns out they had to do like 4 or 5 medicated (with injectibles! serious stuff!) IUIs!  An IF sister!  Right in my own group!  Loooooove it.  Isn't that terrible of me?  I should be sad for them - but they have a beautiful baby boy now, so I am just so happy to have someone in my corner on NYE, if need be!  So then I told her we were having trouble, and we'd already done an IUI, and we'll be doing another one in January... all so easy.  It was a quick but amazing conversation. 

And as always when you tell someone, I feel a million pounds lighter today.

AND, she's like super healthy seeming to me - I love another case of IF when there are no outward signs, which I think we are like.  She has run the Boston marathon for pete's sake!  I guess I will call her/them codeword Boston from now on.  :)

Boston stole our baby boy's name (the only one we could agree on).  But they worked hard for it.  Isn't that ironic a bit?

Something else a little shocking - she said their first six months she was at a clinic in the States (logistical reasons), and they gave her Cl.omid without ANY cycle monitoring!  WTIF!  Shocking.

Advent prayers buddies are assigned today - looking forward to it!

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Dr Love recap - Lap scheduled

Gosh, I just don't know how I feel about how this appointment went!

Dr Love felt around for endo, did a vajay ultrasound, and concluded:  He didn't know if I had endo.  He did not want to say one way or the other if I should have a laproscopy, he said he wanted it to be up to me.

Well, I don't know!

He also said I likely would have stage I or II.  And he said couples with stage I or II that have surgery only have a 1 in 6 improvement on their odds of conceiving strictly due to surgery.  Which is about as clear as mud.

Then I sort of freaked as I was leaving, because I prodded the nurse, and she said I could schedule feb-march if I scheduled now, but if I wanted to wait, I would have to come for another appt (end of Dec), and then they'd be scheduling April.

So I said I wanted one.  March 21st.  It is scheduled.  Unless, (miralce of miracles) I do get pg before then, oviously it is off.  Given that we have IUI#2 plans for January, if that doesn't take, then the lap might be a good thing to check off the list after that.  Then I could do IUI #3 in like May/June timeframe, to allow for some healing.  Gosh, look at me go deep into next year!  Ai ya.

He thinks I shouldn't be eating meat.  I explained how that is contrary to the Weston J. people, and he nodded and sort of said I should go with what makes me feel healthy, in the end.  But this conversation sort of circled around several times.  And he recommended meditation.  Which is not a bad idea.  Work stress has been creeping up again.

DH thinks the surgury is a waste of public funds.  Maybe it is - I just don't know.  I wanted to put the endo question to rest, but of course, you can't without a lap.  At least he said that, and not the straight off "No" that other docs have said, even though that's not true.  So I do feel bad about maybe wasting public money... and certainly if I do a surgery and have to be cut open and heal all for no reason, that is stupid and painful.... thoughts, ladies?

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Dr. Love tomorrow!

My Dr Love appt is tomorrow - I have been putting it off for a long time.  I am also slightly afraid of what it will be like, I've gotten very mixed reviews.  And I do not agree with the macrobiotic diet principles, due to my current adherence to the Nourishing Traditions (Dr Weston A Price) style of nutrition.

I want to put the endo question to rest.  Might I have it?  So far my RE and my family doc say "No".  But the Internet says anyone can have it, you have to do a lap to find out.  

If I do have endo, I want to get it dealt with - not wait a few years to figure out if I have it or not.  And if Dr Love says "No", I will drop the whole thing.  Like, if he wants to do a lap, it will take a few months to schedule... and if IUI#2 works, we can cancel the whole thing.  If it doesn't, this is another route to investigate.

Given that today is CD2 and I am quite ouchy.... I dunno.... well see what he says.  But gosh I hate going to new doctors.

I realized we won't be able to do our IUI #2 until mid January... and that is sort of a bummer.  I have to muscle through (emotionally) 2 more cycles before, not just 1.  Bah.  We talked a little bit about maybe calling Dr A today to kick IUI #2 off this cycle, but we decided it was too hasty.  It sounds silly, but somehow I was thinking (without looking at the calendar) we'll come back from the fertile-new-years, and BAMM we'll do our IUI.  Not so much.  It's only a two week delay, but its an extra period.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

The tricky day

Despite my confident assertions of two days ago, my boobs are not less sore, and I have not started spotting.  Yet.

Which means today is that tricky day.  Hope starts to rear it's head.  Every trip to the bathroom becomes a big deal - has spotting started yet??  I continually check my poor boobs.  "Wouldn't it be grand?" type of thoughts start to invade... yet you try to impose your logical "Look at the stats, survey says No" thoughts overtop of those pesky hopeful thoughts....

These are the most confusing of days.
We all have them.


I will use this time to research more important things.  Like why my bread keeps collapsing in the middle!  (I am freshly milling our grains and then soaking them 24hr to neutralise the phytic acid - most healthful bread, ever.)

And catch up on my November Novel.  As you can see from the sidebar, I am still behind, despite the adventure of ~5k words last night with Feather.  We we up to almost 5am!  5am!  Wow.  Like I am a teenager again.  I am so impressed we stayed up.  That was fun.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Same old same old.

It is CD24, and same old same old.
Boobs hurt today - where are you ChasteTreeberry?  You are supposed help with that!

Sort of a drag.  My skin is exploding, but that is the only unusual thing going on.  (Again, Chaste Tree Berry, you were supposed to be helping with this!).

Prediction - CD25 (aka, tomorrow), boobs will hurt less, spotting may begin tomorrow or the next day.  Draaag.  At least Feather is here for the weekend, we have all sorts of fun events planned!  :)

I have an appt with Dr Love coming up next week. I am sort of scared about it.  I have heard very mixed reviews, to say the least.  But I want to put this do-i-or-don't-i have endo thing to rest.

I  have the end of a cold still  (terrible wracking coughs - so attractive!  hah!).  I find it suspicious that I only tend to get sick at the end of my luteal phase.   Well, Internet says that can be an early pg sign... but I just don't think so.  I think it is suspicious.   After the IUI I had tons of those Internet forum signs - again I think this one will be a no-go.

On to December and the NYE fertile fest....

Monday, November 14, 2011

Post-peak herbs

Dr Nora has me taking the following herbs post-peak, in a tincture, and I thought I really ought to look up what the heck they are really doing/for!  I wouldn't fill a prescription from a doctor without looking it up!

Cha.ste Tree Berry, will potentially help with my 'sore boobs' issues [which is apparently called Mastalgia - I suppose that sounds a wee bit more scientific than 'sore boobs'].  It is also supposed to help with luteal phase defect.  It is supposed to help balance estrogen/progesterone, in favour of progesterone.  Good for peeps with PCOS, so they say.  Also, it is good for acne.  Have I mentioned my skin has been better lately?  I thought it was because I am becoming re-tolerant of some dairy products, but maybe good ol' Chas.te Tree Berry is helping out?!  That would be great.  I didn't get my 'period pimple' last cycle, but that might be just a one off, we'll see.

The other part of this post peak or luteal phase tincture (it is 50%/50%)  is Vervain.  It is used to repel vampires - d'oh!  And I had planned on seeing B.reaking Dawn this weekend.  :(  I found on the Internet that it is a " muscle stabilizer and mood relaxant" - well, that doesn't seem worth the money, does it?  Hippocrates used it for infertility...hrm, I would prefer to know more than that!  It seems it can cause some uterine contrantractions?  That is dissapointing.  I've had some very minor cramping yesterday and today, and I was enjoying that - they say minor cramping is a good sign.  (I read it in a blog somewhere, so maybe not super scientific).  Yeah... I'm not sold on Vervain, but I'm down with the Chast.e Tree Berry!  I will have to talk to Dr Nora about this.

It is CD20 today - about a week left until we know how this natural cycle went!  Now that my slight cramps are maybe caused by Vervain, I have nothing to report in the way or symptoms.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

State of the Union II

State of the Union  - November 2011 edition.

Here is a review of the things we are/arn't doing for fertility.  I first did this in Feb 2011, let's see how much it has, it has changed a TON.  I have practically given up all my tomfoolery.  We've moved into 'hoping things just work out' while waiting for IUI #2.  I guess it has been that I was so so so careful for so many months, and either way it is dissapointment, so I've moved to just rolling with it.
Details if you are interested:
  • Plenty of sleep every night.  I rarely wake up still tired.  [Still on - well, November is hard with Nanowrimo, but in general, yes]
  • Trying to get daily exercise. (Sit on the spin bike while I watch American Idol, it is true) [Nope - have been totally flaking on exercise lately]
  • pH diet (sort of) - my pH does seem to be moving!  All those dandelion greens/kale/mineral water was worth it after all! [Stopped.  I am now into "Nourishing Traditions" type of eating.]
  • Acupuncture once a week with Dr. T [Stopped.  Did not work.]
  • Chinese herbs twice a day [Stopped.  Made things worse.]
  • Fish Oil pills usually daily (incl. Cod Liver Oil since we're in Vitamin D winter for a while still)  [Sometimes]
  • Preggo vit... about 4/7 days a week (I keep them at work to have after lunch - I cannot have a vitamin in the morning, I will literally throw up.  My Dad is like this too.) [Stopped.  Dr Nora doesn't like multi-vits, and I haven't really gotten around to buying more...]
  • Read IF blogs like it's going out of style (love them/you all! my fav. hobby!) [Still keeping up, but I'm not as obsessed as I was]
  • Pineapple core at ~7DPO [Stopped.  This didn't work.] 
  • Oysters several days leading up to ovulation, to ensure DH's man juice is up to snuff (um, and it is yummmmmy) [Not really anymore... should get back to eating mroe oysters, they are yummy and full of zinc]
  • Track all fertility signs on a new improved fancy excel spreadsheet - CM, cervical position/feeling, BBT, etc.  [Stopped.  Too much work, no one to care now anyway, since I don't go to acupuncture anymore.] 
  • Use those lovely (cheap) tests strips to check when LH surge is - I now have tons of them, I love testing things, don't know why I wasn't doing this before - oh, right, because if you buy them at the drugstore they are hella expensive... [Stopped.  Although I often think of buying more...]
  • Test the pH of my fertile CM - it still fails to make the grade (but I have high hopes for next months) [Stopped.  No longer care.]
  • Cut way down on decaf coffee/decaf black tea  [Stopped.  During Nov I am drinking decaf coffee with goat milk almost every day] 
  • Limiting wheat - not necessarily all gluten, just wheat for now [Stopped.  Now I am grinding my own flour and soaking it overnight to help with enzymes]
  • Cutting down on my dear goat milk (cow milk is OUT - I can't tolerate it) [Stopped.  Love goat milk.  Ramping up.]
  • Check out my tongue to see pinkness instead of redness [I still do this.  After IUI #1 it was crazy and cracked, but it is mostly healed from that.  Now I am more concered with cracking than colour, come to think of it.]
  • Use lots preseed during BD to help with pH [Stopped.  Only use occasionally now.]
  • Keep my knees up in the air for like 1.5hrs when we BD after LH surge [Ok, yes, for the most likely time during a cycle]
  • Still take really hot showers, and haven't as yet taken pre/post shower temp to see if my temp goes up too much.  [Now that it is cold out, I'm back to these scorching showers, and I love them.]
  • Have been transferred to a new RE, hopefully will have an appt set up soon [Still witth that RE]
  • DH is seeing a specialist just in case, had another sample taken [DH has had surgery, numbers improved, and plateau'd]
  • Taking daily herbal tinctures for adrenal support, follicular/luteal phase support.
  • Daily chormium, vitamin C with bioflavinoids, vitamin B complex
  • DH takes daily vitamin C with bioflavinoids, vitamin B complex, zinc, copper, selenium

Things I/we don't do:
  • Rush.  If you recall, I gave it up.  [I still do try this, but lately haven't been as good as I would like.] 
  • No caffeine for me - not even chocolate (or maybe just a tiny bit once in a while) [Still on.]
  • Barely any booze - maybe one glass of wine per week, if that.  Alcohol does seem to affect me negatively (I notice I'm more cotton-headed the next day), so this is potentially a very good thing to give it up for a while.  Likely I will imbibe while on vacation.  [LOL.  I have alcohol once in a while still.] 
  • DH no longer rides a bike - just in case.  This is too bad, since we have a spin bike in the basement, really only I can use it right now. [Still on]
  • No high fru.ctose corn syrup (or "corn sugar" as it will be rebranded soon) [Still on]
  • No aspartame (DH sorely misses his C.oke 0! As do I on occasion.  Um.. and it made my vision blurry sometimes.  Probably not good - my vision is already incredibly terrible.)   [Still on]
  • No snuggling with DH in the morning until after BBT - sucks, right? [I don't BBT anymore, so this is stopped.]
  • No baths.  I haven't had a bath since before we were married.  Too bad, I love a good bath.  Even though we are going to Taiwan where there are like 149 different hot springs, I doubt I will go in.  Worried about heating up my lady bits too much.  BUMMER.  [I had one or two baths since...not too hot though.  Stopped.
It is CD18, so I have a few more days of sanity left.  Then here's to hoping, but not expecting to be expecting....

Thursday, November 10, 2011


Sorry, Nov is super busy for me, no time to IF blog lately.  I am doing NaNoWriMo - as you can see in the sidebar.  Lots and lots to write!

Today is CD16, so surely more soon!

Appleseed grows

Lilypie Maternity tickers