Thursday, February 24, 2011


Today, I am focused on the liver.

I did more fingernail research, and it totally looks like I have 'Terry's Nails'.  In Western medicine, this is to do with liver problems or adult onset diabetes.  I spoke with Dr T today about it, and she agrees, from a TCM standpoint there are still some problems with my liver.  I want some half moons!  Ha ha - every day I've been checking my nails, although obviously even if I was to heal my liver, I'm sure half moons wouldn't instantly pop up on my nails.

So... she recommends continuing to eat lots of bitter greens.  I've been trying to eat a bunch of dandelion greens a week lately, so that's good (which my DH won't let me even bring near him!  Hah!).  My skin is also improving, which is a good sign.  My poor skin is my body telling me something is up.

She's adjusting my herbs this month so AF will hopefully just start, not spot for a day or two first.  I think I need more progesterone towards the end of my cycle.  While Dr T still likes my nice long follicular phase, my luteal phase is still rather short.

In Dr Awesome news, I've spent two days calling my family doc's office, and being bounced around from receptionist to referral desk to receptionist to clinical assistant.  I talked to the clinical assistant today, she said she would just fax the referral in and call me back to confirm... but call she did not.  (sigh)   Yeeks.  So, if I don't hear from Dr Awesome by Monday, I will call again and patiently explain to another four people that they didn't fax it even though they were supposed to...

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Plans for March cycle

Well, I suppose it is time to draw up plans for the next cycle.  Blah.
  • Well, I guess I will try to do more fertility yoga.  I sort of slacked last month.  It is ironic that the part of the yoga series I enjoy the most is the menstrual phase.
  • I need to get on top of this Dr Awesome appt.  I called them today, and it turns out my family doc's office hasn't called to refer me yet.  I had meetings all afternoon at work, but I'll try and call them tomorrow.  It has been a week, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!  What takes so long?  
  • I looked through the forms for IVF Canada last night, I just couldn't face it.  Sure, they've been doing IVF since 1983 - that also seems to be about the time frame they put this booklet together.  Sigh.  I think I will go full-in with Dr Awesome.  It's just way way too much paperwork to do twice, I fear.  I'm not much of a paperwork kind of gal.
  • Keep calm and carry on.
And I'm going to go get a Hep A/B shot later this week.  I am currently not immune to Hep B, and that scares the &!?% right out of me with my upcoming Asia trip, and just in general.

I do think I was a little early in calling it yesterday - upon reflection, I am officially terming yesterday 'heavy spotting', and today is CD1.  So... that does mean my cycle was at least 27 days.  Nothing to write home about, but I suppose a move in the right direction.  Oh, but then there was two days of spotting, which is a move in the wrong direction.  (sigh)  And AF seems light?  Move in the wrong direction...

Monday, February 21, 2011

"Helloooo! It's your Aunt Flo!"

"Hellloooo dearie!  Here I am, 26 days since my last visit!"

"Um...awkward... we've discussed it, and we'd really rather you don't visit.  For the next while, anyhow.  How would that be?"

"No promises, my dear."

"Well, we were hoping to at least see you 27 or 28 days since last visit."

"Oh, no, I seem to like coming every 26 days, don't I?"

"That you do.  That you do.  I was sort of hoping that since I was doing so much 'clean living' maybe you wouldn't show up this month."

"... hrm, what was that dearie?  I wasn't caring about what you were saying.  I'm not interested in your 'clean living', I'll come anyway.  Want to go out for a drink or some coffee?"

"Well.... since you're here, I sort of do..."


"Aunt Flo?"

"Ahem.  Nothing.  Let's go get us a glass of wine, dear."

Saturday, February 19, 2011

State of the Union

A review of our current status, as of Feb 2011.
In no particular order,

Things I/we do:
  • Plenty of sleep every night.  I rarely wake up still tired. 
  • Trying to get daily exercise. (Sit on the spin bike while I watch American Idol, it is true)
  • pH diet (sort of) - my pH does seem to be moving!  All those dandelion greens/kale/mineral water was worth it after all!
  • Acupuncture once a week with Dr. T
  • Chinese herbs twice a day
  • Fish Oil pills usually daily (incl. Cod Liver Oil since we're in Vitamin D winter for a while still)
  • Preggo vit... about 4/7 days a week (I keep them at work to have after lunch - I cannot have a vitamin in the morning, I will literally throw up.  My Dad is like this too.)
  • Read IF blogs like it's going out of style (love them/you all! my fav. hobby!)
  • Pineapple core at ~7DPO
  • Oysters several days leading up to ovulation, to ensure DH's man juice is up to snuff (um, and it is yummmmmy)
  • Track all fertility signs on a new improved fancy excel spreadsheet - CM, cervical position/feeling, BBT, etc. 
  • Use those lovely (cheap) tests strips to check when LH surge is - I now have tons of them, I love testing things, don't know why I wasn't doing this before - oh, right, because if you buy them at the drugstore they are hella expensive...
  • Test the pH of my fertile CM - it still fails to make the grade (but I have high hopes for next months)
  • Cut way down on decaf coffee/decaf black tea
  • Limiting wheat - not necessarily all gluten, just wheat for now
  • Cutting down on my dear goat milk (cow milk is OUT - I can't tolerate it)
  • Check out my tongue to see pinkness instead of redness
  • Use lots preseed during BD to help with pH
  • Keep my knees up in the air for like 1.5hrs when we BD after LH surge
  • Still take really hot showers, and haven't as yet taken pre/post shower temp to see if my temp goes up too much. 
  • Have been transferred to a new RE, hopefully will have an appt set up soon
  • DH is seeing a specialist just in case, had another sample taken

Things I/we don't do:
  • Rush.  If you recall, I gave it up.
  • No caffeine for me - not even chocolate (or maybe just a tiny bit once in a while)
  • Barely any booze - maybe one glass of wine per week, if that.  Alcohol does seem to affect me negatively (I notice I'm more cotton-headed the next day), so this is potentially a very good thing to give it up for a while.  Likely I will imbibe while on vacation.
  • DH no longer rides a bike - just in case.  This is too bad, since we have a spin bike in the basement, really only I can use it right now.
  • No high fru.ctose corn syrup (or "corn sugar" as it will be rebranded soon)
  • No aspartame (DH sorely misses his C.oke 0! As do I on occasion.  Um.. and it made my vision blurry sometimes.  Probably not good - my vision is already incredibly terrible.)
  • No snuggling with DH in the morning until after BBT - sucks, right?
  • No baths.  I haven't had a bath since before we were married.  Too bad, I love a good bath.  Even though we are going to Taiwan where there are like 149 different hot springs, I doubt I will go in.  Worried about heating up my lady bits too much.  BUMMER.
I guess we'll see see if any of this helps in the end... whenever that 'end' will be.

    Friday, February 18, 2011

    No Half Moons

    Does everyone have half moons on their fingernails?  I only have them on my thumbs.   Dr T says this is related to an imbalance with certain organs (the ones not connected to my thumbs).  I know for sure I noticed this about two or three years ago... and I probably had half moons as a kid... but when I lost them in between those times, who knows?

    Other than that, things are moving swimmingly.  Today is pineapple core day!  (Yes, 7DPO)  And this month's pineapple core was really nice - very ripe.

    I am trying to be less angry and resentful of all things baby.  It occurred to me that were I to be so lucky and catch next, would I even be happy?  I've been so down on all baby related things, I've enjoyed relishing in the negative aspects of children instead of the positive, because to think about the positive things was too painful.  My friend came over and complained incessantly about her toddler - I LOVED it.  Haha - poop on the floor, eh?  Not for me!

    But I think this is going to backfire for me.  It is true, at least it balances thinking having a baby will magically make everything wonderful (which a tiny part of me still believes)... but I think I've gone too far over to the dark side.  So I read a parenting magazine while waiting for the travel doctor, and tried to be positive about it - like, this may be relevant to me soon/eventually, instead of rolling my eyes or totally avoiding it (which is not in my nature - I want to soak up all parenting related information, if I ever am in the family way).

    This morning had a baby dream, and I sort of knew I was dreaming... but I let myself fully enjoy hugging the baby and playing with her in the dream, instead of pushing it off.  I think this dovetails nicely with me not being so stressy lately, and continuing to forgo rushing.

    Wednesday, February 16, 2011

    IF High/Low/Thankful

    IF High point of today:
    Called up Dr Awesome's office - they are booking for end of March right now!  End of March!  Those 7 month wait rumours on the Internet are untrue!  Yay!  That is even too early for me, I'll be abroad until mid-April.  Yay!

    IF Low point of today:
    I ran out of my Chinese herbs.  WTIF?!  Seriously, if it's not one thing, it's another.  They must have not packed the full luteal amount for me this month - this does seem highly variable, last month there was tons of leftovers.  Weird.  I'm seeing Dr T tomorrow, I'll see what she says.

    IF Thankful:
    I'm thankful that my next ovulation point does not occur on the one week that I will be away from DH next cycle!  :)  The big O is before I leave on my trip, I'm also thankful we don't have to fit it in while away and staying with family or something.

    Tuesday, February 15, 2011

    Referral to Dr Awesome!

    So I was visiting my family doc (Dr X) today to talk about shots for my upcoming travel to Asia.  I wanted to use this as a premise to go there, to really ask him to refer to me to a gynecologist to see about endo.

    "You don't have endo" - Dr X
    "Um... but arn't some patients not symptomatic?" I asked

    He didn't really seem to think there was a link between non-symptomatic endo and infertility.  Ok-aaay...

    He referred to the fact that my RE had done tests and so far they've all come out gravy.

    I was all:

    "But there must be something wrong that hasn't been checked yet, or I'd be pregnant now."  I said this a few times.  It did sink in, because he said

    "If you want I can refer you to another RE for a second opinion."

    "Yes, that sounds like a good idea." I said, while I am thinking - YES! YES! YES!

    I have now figured the tricky referral system out!  YAAAAAYYYY!  I am so happy.  I feel like it is coming together.  I don't care how long I have to wait for Dr Awesome - and I can probably still see Dr Bad in the meantime, my family doc didn't say anything about only seeing one at a time.

    I haven't been crying lately about IF related things, but I think I'm bottling it in - I had to hold back tears of happiness while I was waiting for my tetanus booster at the nurses station.  Woah, slow down there, CS!  This is just a doctor referral, but I'm SO HAPPY.  Ridiculous, I know.  Well, at least it adds some spice to the 2WW.  :)

    Work is sending me to Shanghai for a week that will be tacked on to my HK/Taiwan vacation - and I'm looking forward to it.  A student is going with me, I'll be like his big sis on the trip, it should be kinda fun (he's never been to the far East - I've been to HK before, but never China or Taiwan).

    Today at work there was another fire to put out, but I tried to keep it in perspective while my coworker freaked out.  Again, I could have probably done slightly better, but I was doing pretty well.  Even my boss' GINORMOUS baby bump didn't bother me today - seriously, she is huge.  Was it last week I even questioned whether or not she was preggo?  She is crazy big - she looks like she's like 5 or 6 months along...

    Monday, February 14, 2011

    Great Valentines's Day

    My honey made me a lovely salmon dinner, and the house was clean when I got home and the table was set.  Lovely!!  :)

    We're not big Valentine's people, not really believing in it - but it sure has been a nice evening.

    And the best part of it all?  I love my coworkers.  Really.  I usually eat lunch with a group of about six guys.  You know what guys don't really care about?  You know what doesn't even make it to the talking list of a Monday lunch?  When a coworker is preggo.  Nary a word was mentioned all day about it.

    Love it!

    I felt pretty terrible this morning - SUPER low energy.  I was thinking, maybe I should keep track of when I 'cheat' on my self-imposed diet.... we'll see.  I was pretty far away from the pH diet on the weekend.  Did that make me feel terrible?  Maybe.

    Saturday, February 12, 2011

    Did I call it?

    My boss is pregnant.
    With twins.

    She must have gotten pregnant right after she had her endometriosis removed.  It is quite possible she had to do IVF - since she knows already it is fraternal twins, I am guessing....?  Or they were just lucky.

    Dang it!  I had this wonderful fantasy where I tell her I'm preggo and out of there, and I would try to break it to her gently in case they were trying.  She'd have to find someone to replace me.  Now I will have to replace her.  Or worse, they'll get someone else to replace her.  At least if I replace her I'd be a manager.  (I'm sort of most senior on our team, so I'm kind of next in line...but still sort of young to be a manager.)  Not that I'm sure I can deal with the stress of such a situation... although I suppose I could deal with the pay cheque.

    Whining time:
    It's not really fair.  (sigh)  Although that's how it is, right?  This lady is super stressed all the time and on a serious caffeine buzz most of the time - although I guess maybe she's cut down to one a day.  COFFEE.  I let not any caffeine pass my lips!  And she skips meals, never exercises, etc. etc.  Serious.

    I know, I know.   Life isn't fair.  Look at all the crackheads that get preggo.  And maybe she deserves it, maybe she was TTC for a while.  But I'm still not happy about it.  Oh geez - I'll have to look at her huge twins preggo belly every day.  Great.

    Thursday, February 10, 2011

    Obsessed? Yes.

    So I had my acupuncture appt tonight!  Yay!   I told her we're not broken up anymore, I want to keep coming every week.

    I told Dr T I want more CM.  I was telling her how I was jealous of my other IF friends CM.  She sort of agreed.  Then when she came to take the needles back I was like, "Seriously.  Can you make me have more CM?"

    She recommended I take some royal jelly for my next follicular phase.  Can do!  You know how I love to eat kooky things!  Done.

    I had a pretty stressful day at work (not one but two major fires to put out), but I think I dealt with it better than I normally would have.  There is some room for improvement, but I didn't freak out, I tried to be unflappable.  And I kept reminding myself how I have given up rushing, which is still a remarkable concept and continues to be quite helpful.

    Dr T doesn't know what to make of my hot follicular phase.  I thought I would be so cool and efficient and send her my BBT charts in excel - turns out she doesn't have excel! D'Oh!  Not everyone spends their entire day in excel!?!?  :o  Next week I'll have to email her a pdf. 

    I am now wondering if my boss is preggo.  Her stomach looked suspiciously huge today.   Ha - I still instantly see preggo at every large-ish belly that saunters my way.  Obsessed?  Yes.

    Wednesday, February 9, 2011

    In the nick of time

    My preseed has arrived in the nick of time!  But THANKS to all the helpful tips - I thought I couldn't get preseed here, so I ordered it online (thus the wait).  When I'm through this crate of preseed I will just mosy on down to pick up some more!  Easy peasy!  I totally saved that link for next time - thanks!  Those tips could have been real life-savers - or else another wasted cycle.

    I also ordered various other TTC goodies.  I enjoy having lots of LH test strips on hand.  And it is just me, or is it a bit sad when you need a new pink thermometer?  At least I think I do - mine's been acting a bit funny (shutting itself off on me, and whatnot).  So new thermometer tomorrow, it is.  Yay!  (I went a bit shopping crazy when I was online ordering.)

    No LH surge yet today, but that's cool, it's only CD14, I usually get it CD15 or CD16.  But even though I know not to expect it today.... somehow not seeing a non-control line on any test strip feels like a mini-failure. Which is totally illogical, but there you have it.

    I wasn't quite as chill today at work as earlier in the week.  I did remind myself not to rush several times - while good I remembered to slow it down, bad that I was rushing to start with.

    Oh, and I ate FOUR bacon-wrapped Jalapeno poppers, and several other bacon-related shenanigans.  mmm.  I stuffed the jalapenos with goat cheese - SUPER good, but not exactly staying away from dairy.  Oh well - it's back to at least being a sometimes food, which is good.  Today was sometimes.  :)

    Oh, the secretary from IVF Canada really seems to be taking an interest in me.  She called and asked about whether or not DH has an appt with a urologist (he was referred by Dr. Bad), and could I please get back to her with his info.  I am slightly fuzzy about why exactly (sperm counts are ok, etc), I will have to call her tomorrow (work got too busy today, then all that bacon needed eating).

    One more thing - this blog has officially surpassed my IRL blog (which is mostly travel and house renovations and whatnot) for hit counts!  Gosh.  Makes you think, eh?  I'm so grateful for this wonderfully supportive online fertility community.  Hugs to all you ladies!  IF blogging and reading IF blogs is like my #1 fav thing to do these days!  Hah!

    No rushing rule - and where the heck is my preseed? I need it NOW.

    As I'm heading towards O-day, there are still a few kinks in this month's plan

    • My CM is scant today.  Scant!  Frig....
    • My crate of preseed has not yet arrived.  This is a problem because of above and below!
    • Yesterday my CM pH was not good - could not yet test today due to scantness.  Maybe by tonight it will be more fired up?
    • My overall pH was still not in the 'healthy' zone as of yesterday.  Bah.  I'm not sure how long it takes to right itself... I've decided to eat my special fertility smoothie for breakfast for the next few days in hopes that it helps.
    • LH surge should be today or tomorrow.... i'm hoping for a really solid lines instead of the usual super faint line (heck, I'll take any line though!  not to be a whiner)
    I'm really looking forward to seeing Dr T in a few days!

    I've actually been very chill the last few days - coool.  I'll take it. My new "no-rushing" rule is really working out.  If I find myself rushing (since I am a natural rusher), I try to notice and stop and say, "I don't rush.".  So far so good!

    Sunday, February 6, 2011

    Odd Follicular phase

    Since my follicular phase is coming towards  close, it is official - my follicular phase this month is so ODD!  I just graphed it up to now (I am CD11)  - so weird.  My temp is much higher than normal.  I think it's the Chinese herbs.

    My appt with Dr T isn't until next week - bummer.  By then we'll be right around ovulation...which I suppose it a good day to do acupuncture, but not so good if I needed to be adjusted before then...?

    Although - since starting TCM/Acupuncture, what is 'normal' is changing (duh, obvi she is trying to change my cycle and clean it up a bit), so I should probably stop trying to refer everything to my 'normal', and just take it as it comes.

    In other February IF updates:
    1. pH:  It is too early to be checking CM pH, but I did pick up a book about a pH diet and read that.  They want your morning urine pH to be higher than mine is.  So far I haven't got it up to the right range.  I'm sort of loosely trying to do that - trying to eat more greens, fruits, mineral water, no more decaf coffee, but I'm not going hardcore and cutting out all grains/meat/dairy.  I'm still not 100% convinced this pH diet makes sense.  There is a lot of conflicting data out there about it.  But I figure more fruits/veg certainly won't hurt.
    2. Exercise:  Well, my imaginings of hiring a trainer and working out strenuously every day didn't quite happen.  I am working out slightly more than last month, but nothing close to what I probably ought to be doing.  I did go for a run today (it being actually warm out!), but it was sort of pathetic.  Oh well, you have to start somewhere.  DH and I will be going out for a walk soon too - I'm going to use some of my lucky money to buy a new 2011 calendar to write my temps in by the bed.  For some reason I am really looking forward to having a new calendar??  Ha ha ha.
    3. I can't really decide what to do about wheat/dairy.  I think I'm going to go back and try more wheat and dairy avoidance.  As in - at home make non-wheat/dairy meal plans, but if I'm out or starving, a wheat based cracker won't kill me.  I still love the goat dairy, but I'm going to cut it down.  We had some last night - the icing for the cake I made was based on chevre and it was TO DIE FOR - but that was a special occasion.  (Also, I used freshly ground spelt flour instead of white AP wheat I get at least one brownie point there????)

    Superbowl today!!  Go Steelers!  :)

    Friday, February 4, 2011


    Ok, so I ran across this video, and I thought I'd just watch it and it would be nice, but it completely made me weep.  But not a bad shoulders-shaking-can't-breathe kind of weep, a sort of release-of-built-up-emotion weep.

    This video isn't new, you may have already seen it, but if you haven't... wow, it is really great.

    Hugs, ladies.

    Thursday, February 3, 2011

    Happy New Year!

    Year of the Rabbit - makes you wonder if we'll all be like rabbits and make lots of babies, right?!  :)

    I will clarify, that although the receptionist was giving me medical advice, she was actually kind of nice by the end of the call.  She was thinking she was convincing me that IVF Canada was actually really good, since I did have a midway change of heart (me thinking - maybe this will be faster).  She went on about how a clinic needs to have at least 15 years experience - uh... I don't think so.  But whatev - she's going out of her way to send me the forms, which is nice.

    I like the idea of the walk-in clinic!  Don't know why this hadn't occurred to me.

    Oh, also, I hope to NOT take the drugs my first IUI cycle.  The drugs really scare me, I want to see if I can do it without.  I mean, word is that I ovulate just fine...  hahah, I checked with the secretary, she said that yes they do that sometimes, so at least they should be open to that.  I would have talked to her more, but I had to call in to work to run a meeting.

    JB - good advice.  I wish I knew which was to go!  Problem is, it really depends on the results whether or not in retrospect each decision was right.  Like, if this struggle is going to take several more years - for sure I should just wait to see Dr Awesome.  If my first IUI will catch, Dr Bad should be fine.

    Anyhoo, time to go have Chinese New Year breakfast with the fam!  :)  They are quite serious about it - we have to have our first meal together today (although DH's sister is skipping).  Also no washing or cleaning today.

    Gung hay fat choy!

    Wednesday, February 2, 2011

    Plans a-changing?

    So Dr Bad's office called me back, and I spoke at length with his receptionist.

    I made this mistake saying I've heard bad things about IVF Canada, which super offended her.

    She also was kind of like... "maybe it is just a timing issue".  Really?!  For 18months?!  Are you kidding me?  She ran off the standard, if your hormones are ok and DH is ok, everything should be fine.  I was kind of like...aren't there hundreds of things that could be going wrong still??  And why is a receptionist giving me medical advice?

    BUT, as she was talking, I was like....well, I could stay with Dr Bad for my first IUI, while I am in queue for Dr Awesome (the one we talked about, Mrs Hatter).  I have an appt booked with my family doc for next week, and I was going to ask for a referral to Dr Love, but maybe I should just ask for a referral to Dr Awesome, and then go with Dr Bad for now.

    • If I just need to jump my cervix, any IUI should do me, I don't need a great doc necessarily, I just want it at a time convenient to me (May)
    • If I don't have endo, Dr Love prob isn't the right guy for me anyway....
    • But I was sort of looking forward to Dr Love and his meditation and whatnot, instead of this "well obvi nothing is really wrong then it is probably just timing" crap
    But will my family doc then know I am in queue for two docs?!?  And thus will Dr Bad drop me?  Augh, why did I call up Dr Bad's office in the first place?!?  This is so complicated!

    Anyway, she's going to send me some forms, I have a chance to think through this all.

    Even though it is a lovely snow day, I do sit here stressed out - precipitated by a work meeting.  I think after lunch I'll go out and shovel for a bit, that should relieve some stress!

    Appleseed grows

    Lilypie Maternity tickers