Friday, July 29, 2011


So I don't know IF I mentioned it, but we're going away camping this weekend with 10 of my friends.  YAAAAAAAY! 

But not 10 full-sized people - two babies and a toddler and coming.

When we sent out the "who wants to go camping" email, we weren't expecting to get people with kids coming!  But it is ok, I like both of the couples very much, it will be intersting at the very least (and I am slightly unnerved with two serious campers both saying "dangerous", but the kiddies will be in full-time life jackets the whole weekend, I think we'll be ok).  The un-kidded people are a couple I don't know very well (more friends of friends) and a single friend.

BUT, as we were sending out the "who has any food allergies" email (for you should see my email organisation - I am a super star this trip - I suppose work is really paying off, forcing me to be organised and cogent in emails, eh?) - the girl-of-the-couple-i-don't-know-well replied "Due to my preggo status...." - WHAT?!?!


Seriously, if I could have uninvited her at that moment, I would have.  Yeesh.  No offense, but preggos really bring a party down.  Now all talk will be about babies.  For if one is growing one, it is reasonable to want to talk about them.  And if two other people there are on mat leave (remember we get a year here), all they do anyway is babies, and thus will be all about baby talk.  And I love/hate baby talk!  Augh!

So I guess it's just us and our singleton friend.

In any case, I'm SUPER excited to go.  It will be nice to really get away.  It is a long weekend here, so it's just enough time (would prefer longer!) to get our wilderness on.  The last camping trip I went on, I found that despite eating all sorts of sugary foods and being pissed at the lack of English being spoken, my shakiness went away, and I just felt good and happy.  This also probably had to do with the mega runs I went on several days on the last trip (12km on the trail!), which isn't going to happen this time (no way I can do 12 km right now!  I can barely run 4 km!).

Work's been gradually building up pressure/stress, so this will be a welcome relief.  In fact, my new boss rejected my request for half a day of vacation (since we need to leave early, lest we end up canoeing into the site in the dark), he said just to take it.  So YAY!  Half day today!  Seriously, I was up at like 6am from all the excitement this morning.  And I had a RARE moment last night where I stayed until 7:30pm at work, because I was enjoying what I was doing, and wanted to do more.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Very sensitive fertile.

So we just had dinner with some friend's of DH's - I was sort of dreading it.   It was the couple I had previously posted about here (wow, that takes me back, eh?).

BUT, it turned out to be a rather nice dinner.  I had skipped her shower (since I don't do baby showers anymore), but I still wanted to bring a present, so we got together tonight and we gave them their present.  I know that they know about our IF troubles, so I was sort of dreading them asking us how it's going... but it was ok.

She was really quite sensitive about the whole thing.  I sort of mentioned how shopping for baby clothes was fun (I don't know why I say things like that - by 'fun' I mean torture-ish-fun), and she was kind of like "aw" and made a little sad face and changed the topic for me.  In general, they really did try to talk about things other than the baby in the beginning, which I appreciated.

She finally did lean over and say "and how are you doing with your thing?" - and I was ok.  I was just like, "ah, not so good", but she was very understanding.  They had been trying 3 years, she said.  And of course I was still wondering how much "trying" it was or just being off BC, but in the parking lot she mentioned "the month we finally gave up ovulation test strips, we got pg" - I was like, oh, I guess you guys are legit.

She did offer to talk about it more if I wanted to... and I think she didn't have anyone to talk to when she was pre-fertile, which is too bad ... but really, I'm doing ok.  I have y'all blogsisters - and of course my actual local IF ladies, who I love to bits! I can't imagine where I'd be without everyone!  Probably in an insane asylum or divorced.  Yikes.

We did talk excessively about baby names - but I haven't had a total personality transplant, I've loved talking about baby names since high school.  They are pretty hot for a name I quite like - "Evangeline' - remind you of anyone, Feather?

Monday, July 25, 2011

Adrenal Fatigue

This seems to be a VERY important topic.  At least for me.

So I read this book, and finally I understand what JB's been all on about!  Dear Jelly Belly has been beating the Adrenal Fatigue drum since for ages now, but I think it took reading about it for me to really get it.  (and I like to read books).

I have some outstanding symptoms of adrenal fatigue.  And I seem to be worse lately.  I think this has to do with my early-morning shakiness - it is hypoglycemia brought on by (or worsened by) adrenal fatigue.  Oh ho!  My doc was heading down the path of heart investigations, which is nonsense and a waste of time/money.

I scored a low-moderate.  Even more interesting, as I was reading the book, I was like "this is for sure my Auntie Em", so when I was at her house this weekend, I gave her the quiz, and she scored moderate-severe.  Auntie Em needs her adrenals refreshed.  She is much worse off than me.  But as we're family and all, I could be her in a few years!  Yikes.   (Despite a super healthy diet, she is quite tired and overwhelmed lots of the time, has many chemical/food sensitives, it gets worse and worse)

A few things struck me in particular:
  • I've lately been getting an AF that seems to stop at day 3-4, then spotting starts up again.  WTIF!  Well, makes perfect sense with Adrenal Fatigue.  It's all there in the book.
  • Increasing PMS symptoms
  • My energy patterns seem to follow adrenal fatigue classic examples (with low thyroid)
  • In the past I've felt a million times better on vacation, and not shaky at all
So of course I would have to confirm this with lab tests.  And I think I'm going to go visit Dr Nora.  (Um, meant to book an appt today, but work was tres busy, didn't quite get to it).

It feels kinda good to maybe know why I am feeling tired so often, and why it is linked to stress at work (which now seems like, DUH, but before seemed quite mysterious).  And hopefully this is actually it, and it can be fixed, Hoorah!  Imagine - living a life with vitality, not just dragging through it!  I want that.  :)  (and then babies will magically fall out of my tummy, I am sure)

This even sort of makes sense if you think of it in TCM terms - you are using up your Qi with stress and bad diet (and bad teeth!).

So, I recommend the book.  It's a bit poorly organised, but otherwise very informative.   I'm going to try and live the "daily program for Adrenal Recovery", see if it helps.  But I think I need supplements, and I'd like to talk to Dr Nora.  Perhaps I'm cracked in the head, and it isn't this at all!

Friday, July 22, 2011

Ow! There you are Mittelschmirz, I thought I had misplaced you!

It's friggin' CD17!

I am ouchy and awful today.  Blather.  Finally there is a faint (very faint!) on the LH test strip.  So maybe tomorrow will be an actual line.  So ovulation CD19?!?  Unheard of!  I am normally CD16 like clockwork!

WTIF!  Last month I suspected I ovulated at like CD14.  Now CD19?!  What happened to me being regular?  Why am I descending into a spiral of bad?  (Have a whole post coming on adrenal fatigue)

If I don't have a least a 29 day cycle this month, somebody's gonna get a hurt real bad!  (I'm looking at you, Aunt Flo!) (The link is classic Canadian humour)  :)

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Oil Pulling

Yes, that's right.  Oil pulling.  It isn't like pulling taffy.

I first heard about it from Kim, and the thought "you should look up what the heck that is" kept going around in my head for a week or two.

I finally looked it up.  If you've no time to look at the link above, I will sum it up for you:  Oil pulling will  cure all that ails you.  Or at least whiten your teeth.  Or not.

Hahha.  I figure, it can't hurt.  And at least, it seems it may whiten my teeth (I don't use whiteners, cuz I don't really care all that much about super white teeth when it comes down to it, and I mistrust them, pretty sure they are full of bad things).

Ah.... I love these sort of hippie cure-alls.  I know realistically it probably won't 'fix' all that is wrong with me, but for the next few weeks, I'd like to think it might, gives me something to look forward to!

So I've been doing it for about 7 days now.  I'm not sure it's doing anything - but then again, I'm not sure it's NOT doing anything.   I haven't been having abdominal pain like I've been having (CD16 - should be about to ovulate...although no sign of LH yet).  So that's good... but where is my LH?  Normally CD14 I can sort of see it!

I do think my Dad should probably do this, as he's had a ton of teeth problems and root canals lately.  I also strongly believe that my Grandma's deathly heart attack was from the double root canal she'd had 2 days before she died - apparently there are lots of studies linking the nasty bacteria that live in bad places in teeth with heart attacks.  So it is sort of sad I am only learning this now. 

But we'll see - I'm not sure how I'd go about convincing my Dad to do something so hippie.  For now, I'm just going to see if it at least whitens my teeth!  :)

Monday, July 18, 2011

The tale of Oldest Sister

Last night DH and I went to a barbeque at his friend's, whom we see perhaps once a year.  His friend is married to Middle Sister, who has three lovely children.

DH also knows oldest sister, whom he dragonboats with.  Oldest sister is about (over?) 40, but she's quite lively and fun - you'd swear she was 27 if you met her.  There is also Youngest Sister, who does not figure into our tale, but is about my age, and unmarried.

Now a few years ago, we were at dinner with this same group, DH and I were as of yet unmarried, and did not know the hardships of IF.  We made some of those obnoxious comments to Oldest Sister and her husband "You should have kids!" type of comments.

From my recollection, Oldest sister at one point hung her head and said in a small voice "I can't have any children".  Even then as a potentially-fertile, I knew we were being obnoxious, and I quickly changed the subject.  I'm pretty sure I've even had the "there are other things in life than children" conversation with her at some point.

So I've kind of felt an IF kinship with Oldest Sister, even though we've never talked about it.  Since Middle Sister and DH's friend are both fancy doctors, I assumed that when she made that statement they would have already exhausted all medical avenues - for Oldest Sister clearly loved and doted on her nieces and nephews.

Yesterday DH old me Oldest Sister was expecting.  I was pleased!  It is always nice to hear and IF lady caught - particularly one that was so sweet and seemed to really love kids so much, and I do know she's somewhere in the vicinity of 40.  But then DH also said that Oldest Sister had said something like "Oh, my DH didn't want to have kids yet, but since I'm 40, we thought now was a good time" or something to that effect.  What??  What happened to "I can't have kids"?  Did I dream that up? 

But I thought, ok, whatever her cover story is, I'm glad for her.  She doesn't need to announce to the world if she's had an IVF, or whatever it was that finally got her pg.

BUT - at dinner last night - she was a TOTALLY OBNOXIOUS PREGNANT PERSON.  Seriously!  I wanted to throttle her.  She went on and on about how she was not going to stop doing anything just because she was pregnant, and she was still painting (walls, like) and going up ladders and climbing on counters and everything, and she hated it when people told her to take it easy.  Fine, no need to become sheltered, I have no specific problem with anything she's doing (as long as it's low VOC paint) - but it was totally the attitude.  Hello?  You have a precious miracle in your belly.  Stop acting like it's no big deal, or just a minor inconvenience!  What a prat.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Healthy Vaginal MicroBiome Necessary for Reproductive Health!

As I was going for my Sunday run and listening to Quirks and Quarks, the national weekly science news program (excellent running companion), I came across this:

About minute 44 onward it suddenly got VERY interesting!  If you've got time, I encourage you to download it!  :)

This sentence almost stopped me in my tracks:
“We know that a healthy balance is critical to preventing vaginal infections, protecting against sexually transmitted infections and preventing pregnancy loss and preterm birth.”

Well!  Neat!  Not that I've ever been pregnant, so nothing to lose, but it is so INTERESTING!  This field of study is just beginning - who knows what else they'll show is related to a healthy balance of microorganisms in the vajajay?  Like, say... certain types of IF?!  It does make sense.

And more importantly - once lost, how does one return it into balance?  I tooled around the Internet a bit, but it seems this research is in it's infancy.  What is a 'normal' balance they're still figuring out.  I saw one study that found five different 'normal' types.  Complicated.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Thrills and Chills


So I came across this seriously scary wheat article last week.  Read at your own risk!  Some of his arguments are a bit hocus-pocus, some seemed pretty darn compelling, and either way it still rather freaked me out.  (Seriously, Maddie, skip it until after your vaca!)

I do think it is possible my extreme tiredness on the weekend was wheat-related... but this needs more scientific study (aka, go off wheat, then back on again for a bit, to see the effect) for me to be sure.  I think I'll just avoid wheat until after August long week, then actually go 100% off gluten.  (We're camping with a bunch of peeps [and their babies] that weekend, it will just be too much hassle to go off wheat AND dairy for that weekend)

In other news, I did see my family doc on Friday, and I got her to refer me to Dr. Love - since I still suspect endo.   If HE doesn't suspect endo, I'll drop it - he's a renown endo specialist.  This last AF visit was awful - much more painful than normal.  It's like its getting worse and worse.  What's up with that?  She seemed to think it wasn't a big deal that the pain woke me up in the night and I had to take some Ibuprofen to get back to sleep - but that just isn't normally how I roll.

She's also trying to help get to the bottom of my shaky problem... but I sorta think she'd headed in the wrong direction.  Oh well - she did order a full Thyroid workup, which is good.  Now I'm not sure if Dr A checked all things Thyroid or just TSH.  So can't hurt to have it tested again.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

No surprises.


"Ah, my dear Aunt Flo.  Wee bit early this month, aren't you?"

"No one likes a tardy Aunt!"

"I disagree."

"Mmm.  And how are we today?"

"Awful.  You suck.  And you're hurty."

"Now now.  Words can hurt too."

"And you've made me feel slightly nauseous all day.  Thanks for that."

"Sarcasm is a tool of the weak, dear."

Monday, July 4, 2011

Everytime I see a bit of spotting, I think "Implantation Bleeding"...

...but then it always just turns into a harbinger for AF's arrival, am I right?  Like you can hear her car pulling up in the driveway.


So today, CD23 - spotting.  What gives?!  What the heck?  What happened to my supposedly lengthening cycle??  I was sort of angry this morning about it.

This is not unheard-of for me... but I was hoping to hold off on spotting until CD25, y'know?  It also seems like I ovulated a day or so early this month - causing us to potentially screw up our timing.  Timing is hard with MF!  You really only get two good shots at it per month, since you (probably) need so much time in between to rebuild.

I always picture Implantation Bleeding to be some sort of adorable little tiny perfect spot.


That being said, I did only spot for a little while this morning, it seems, which is unusual, so for now, I will pretend it is Implantation Bleeding.  :)  (But not seriously - I've been fooled many a time - there was this one time I got SO excited - but it was a super early AF visit.  Bah!  That was a real bummer.)

As an aside - yes, I've had my thyroid checked - it's all good under the hood, so they say.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Thunder Thighs


After last week's Rye reveal, I thought - "Screw this,  I've been eating gluten all along, haven't I?  Well then I'll go back to wheat with a vengeance." and promptly had all sorts of gas and tummy aches.


I feel so broken lately.  It one thing doesn't hurt, it's another.  None of these things seemed to hurt last year, to my recollection!

Now my boobies hurt after ovulation, I have random abdominal pain throughout the cycle I don't think I used to have,  Mittleschmirz, I am tired most of the time lately (how on earth I could have a baby when I just want to lie down all the time, I don't know), PMS is much worse in terms of crankiness/drying (yes, I cried today for no reason - great), I still haven't managed to kick my 'getting shaky' habit (worse lately) - and here is one that really disappointed me today - I am now the heaviest I've ever been.

WTIF is going on!?!?

I am not normally someone who really gains that much weight.  For like 5 years I had been a particular weight.  I'd gain 2-3 pounds, eat some salads, and go back to my normal weight.  Now, I am on some weight gaining train.  I've been eating salads like they're going out of style, but my scale is creeping up.   I am now 12 lbs heavier than my usual weight.  I haven't been running very much - but I've been biking and doing a circuit class at the gym (and yoga), it's not like I've been totally lying around. 

So what gives?  It is just good old fashioned lack of running, or is it something else?  Or is it just that I'm older, and won't lose weight as easily?

Or is it adrenal fatigue?  Work was pretty stressful last week and VERY stressful this week. (A coworker called me up and yelled at me.  It really upset me for the next entire day/night.)

So I can't quite decide - Dr Care or Dr Nora?  Regular family doc or Naturopath?  Both seem like a lot of hassle right now with work so busy....

Maybe I will start with family doc.  I mostly seem to have had this shaky thing kicked, but I don't know if it's the work stress lately or what, but I am out of control again.  I seem to wake up every night at like 4 am feeling 'shaky' - regardless of what I eat.   Certainly it is worse with certain food and lack of exercise, but I eat pretty well, I'm not sure how much more diet modification I can do?

Appleseed grows

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