Monday, January 30, 2012

Grumpy day

Things are progressing.  No triplets on the horizon!  (Boooo-urns!)

By the numbers:
  • Lining 6.6mm.  She said was good, but I think I would like it thicker right now?  You'd think with all that estrogen floating around it would be nice and thick!  Doesn't estrogen make the lining?
  • 3 follies left on the Left - biggest is 16mm, others are 11mm - they will probably drop down
  • 1 follie left on the Right - also 16mm.  The 16mm part is probably good for C10, but I am dissapointed more follies didn't make the trip!
  • Estrogen is 933.  Like, woah.  Is this why I am CRANKY today?!  I managed not to actually be rude to anyone, but man, was I feeling rude!  I woke up angry, even.  Not angry at DH or anything, just angry I had to get up.  Ah, Mondays.  Felt better after lunch with an old school friend.
  • LH 4.9 (so not close to ovulation - why do I need to go back in 2 days then?  I'd prefer to wait 3, but that is neither here nor there.  The less wanding and downtown traffic the better.)
  • Progesterone 3.9.  Does it seem weird it went down?  Or does that make sense because estrogren is flying high?  
  • FSH 3.1.  I continue to not know what this means.
  • CM:  0  None.

My Dad and step Mom are coming tonight (from 3.5hrs away!) for DH's birthday dinner.  :)  Should be fun.  They just come for dinner, we go out, they leave in the morning.  I try to get them interesting in doing something in the city, but no dice yet.  House is tidy while we wait for them (traffic, wee little bit of snow happening here tonight).

Ok ladies, pray my two good follicles stay that way!  I'll take twins!  :)

Friday, January 27, 2012

A wanding I did go.

Day 7 wanding.
I did not enjoy it.  She forgot me so I waited forever and was late.
And I swear she bruised me. 

Anyway - I thought things were going great.  The wander was like "Wow, a lot of follicles!", and I was so proud of them.  But then later the doc came in and saw them and was like, "Wow, you're going really slow at this, eh?  Well, you've got time".  Yikes.  SLOW?  Isn't 8 or 9 follicles good?  It is only CD7, so who knows how many will make it to maturity.....  Time?  As in time for more cycles?!  Aye ya.

And even though I knew I was sort of freaking out over nothing, I was really bummed all morning.  Can I blame that on the Clomid?!?!  :)

By the numbers:  (which have no units, so my Internet research is dodgy)
Lining: 4.9mm (Is I think ok, little on the thin side?)
Follicles:  8 or 9 (Which I thought was good - what is good at this day?)
Estrogen:  456 (Which I freaked out over - it seems so high.  So I Dr Googled like mad... and I think maybe it is ok?  Good to double from day 3 to day 5, which this would have done.  Then I read something that was saying 200-600 per mature follicle is normal.  Which seems like I might be ok.  Opinions?)
LH:  8.3  (Fine)
Progesterone:  4.5  (Fine.  I did notice the Internet says >10 is good on a natural cycle, >15 good for IVF cycle.  What is Dr Nora saying that 60 is good?  That is crazy.  Or maybe we're in different units?)
FSH:  7.4  (I don't care about this.  Do you?  I don't really know much about FSH.)

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Clomid day 3 (IUI #2)

So here I am on day 3 of Clomid.  It isn't as bad as I thought it might be.  I was worried it would be worse.  (I was particularly worried I'd have emotional outbursts at work.)

So far my eye hurt a bit on Day 1, but that went away after an hour or two.  I am on the lookout (hah!) for blurry vision, because that would be so like me (I have weak eyes - Diet Coke used to make me a bit blurry, back when I consumed such things.  Dodgy, right?  This probably means IT IS BAD FOR YOU - but I still drank it for years.).

I had two hot flashes last night.  Not so bad.  A bit crazy - and it seemed to last for several minutes, which was weird, but nothing too bad.  I wonder if I'll get any today at work?  That would be weird.  I'm used to night sweats a few times a month (bad, I know, but I can't seem to get rid of them), but day-sweats would be new.  ;)  Like a little preview of menopause, so I can feel more for my older friends.

I did decide to continue Fertile.CM during Clomid - Dr Google wasn't quite as helpful as I'd hoped, but if you dig around enough it seems like it will be ok.

In other news, I decided to buy some natural progesterone cream.  This article (by my fav Internet hippie doc) sold me.  [I would be interested in the Napro ladies view of that article.  Do ya'll think it is bogus or genius?]  I figure at least if I order it, I can then decide to use it or not.  And it makes me kinda glad my doc didn't proscribe progesterone pills, since they seem to be bad sauce.    I paid an exhorbanant fee to ship to Canada, but I just wanted to get it done and not look around the Intenet for the best deal.

Wanding tomorrow!

Monday, January 23, 2012

Roger that Houston, IUI #2 is good to take-off!

It's on.

I had sort of a weird conversation with the nurse.  She was like "I'm going to give you 10 pills", and I was like "How much in each pill?", and she was like "Huh?", and I was like "How many milligrams each?", and she was like "50mg", and I was like "100mg/day?  Can I do 50 mg/day?"...

And in the long run, that's what I'm going to do.  The doc wasn't around.  And she was like - in the end, he'd say to do whatever you are comfortable with.  It seems a bit loosey-goosey to me - but it's sort of a crap-shot after all.  Dr Nora recommended 25mg/day.  Dr Google seems to say side effects and risks are much higher at 150 mg/day.  So I think I'm cool with 50 mg/day.  I think it makes sense to start small.  Because who knows how my body will respond?  I don't have problems ovulating, this is just to make some bonus eggs.

But I haven't told you blog ladies - but I've been secretly obsessing about triplets.  But with only 50 mg/day and still <1% chance, it is unlikely.  But it SUCH a fun day dream to have.  About all the triplet problems you would have - fun.  :)  For a while I would day dream of having quads, but as this is even less realistic, I ratcheted down to triplets.  Think of all the fun you could have naming!

I will be taking one 50mg tablet of Clomid per day for 5 days.  I go in again on CD7.  That seems like a long way away!

Does anyone know if I should stop taking FertileCM?  I will go ask Dr Google.

Although I intended to keep myself at cautiously optimistic, I accidentally am now just excited.  I know this comes with a very heartbreaking AF visit, but I think there is no way around the heartbreak this cycle if I don't catch.

By the numbers:
Estrogen 141
LH 4.9
Progresterone 4.5
FSH 6.0

And one other thing.  I thought it was going to be like $500.  No!  It was $34.50.  Nice.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Happy (Chinese) New Years!

I am sort of liking the symbolism of starting this new cycle practically on the same day as the New Year starts.  It would be slightly more poetic if CD1 was tomorrow, but it's close enough.  Tomorrow is my first wanding of the season, so to speak.

Chinese New Years is quite a big holiday in my DH's family.  This was sort of a surprise for me initially, but now I am sort of thinking it's like their Christmas (in terms of excitement and family time), and going with it.  I am taking tomorrow off work (yay!) so we can all eat breakfast (which is actually at 11am) together as a family.   Which I think is nice - we share the first meal of the year together, to symbolize staying together as a family for the next year.

Last night we had hot pot at Oldest Sister's house - that was also super fun.  Like a billion kids were there, but not for Oldest Sister or I - it is kind of like our bond.

So, I am feeling quite hopeful (or, erm, cautiously optimistic).  And if it doesn't work, I have a lap scheduled at the end of March.  With these awful periods and other pains, I am more and more suspecting endo.  So we will see at that time.  (If'n I'm not pg, that is).

See this dragon?  (Year of the Dragon begins tomorrow)  Maybe this dragon will beat down my infertility!  Woohai!  (Doesn't he seem to be saying "I'm comin' for you, IF!"?)

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Hark! Herein cometh thy contemptible Aunt!

Spotting started yesterday.

Today is 'heavy spotting' or I may call it Day 1, we'll see how it progresses.

Well.  IUI is it.  Too bad, I was hoping for a 'natural', of course.  This is like our 8th month after DH's counts have been up.  So... yeah.  That wasn't the only issue.  There is something else.

So I guess we'll see how it goes next cycle!  At this point I am cautiously optimistic.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

No sign of AF ... yet....


Well, I've made it this far.  But I feel as if I've turned a corner.  The mini "other" signs (the ones I can read as "Gosh, maybe I'm pg!") have sort of dissipated, and the "Hark!  Herein cometh thy scurlilious Aunt..." symptoms maybe are on the rise.

But of course, the boobies still sore.  Less sore is really hard to figure out, as they do seem to fluctuate during the day.  I almost freaked out yesterday when I accidentally elbowed myself and it didn't hurt very much - but they were back to hurting in the evening.

It still maybe has to do with milk.  I did sneak some cheese last night.

These suddenly-long cycles are a pain.  Really, do I need 5 extra days of worry?  If AF is going to come anyway, let her come in a timely manner, yo.  Let's get on with this IUI already.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Days 25+

This is the most annoying time of the 2WW.  For spotting could begin at any moment... or it might hold off until CD30....

Every teeny thing different with me I think "Is this early pg?"

And you think I could get through a 2WW without 3 posts on my boobs?  No.  Sorry.  You would think I have some killer tatas, but no, they are just a sorce of 2WW trouble.  The rest of the time they are rather humble.

My boobs are more sore.  After Saturday's nights raclette party, the boobie soreness hit overdrive.  Now they are like as if bruised.  Was it the cheese, or was it just time to amp up?  I have no conclusions.  (It isn't caffeine - caffeine I haven't had in like over a year.  It is probably lack of progesterone.  Or too much progresterone?  Or a change in progesteron?!  Urghgh.)

I have felt nauseous on a off a bit through the last day or two.  Or this just nerves?  Probably.  I swear,  if it weren't for stick tests, I would have had like 7 hysterical pregnancies by now.  I am sure glad for technology on this front!

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Light Cramping


Well, I've been having light cramping for about 3 days.  And breast tenderness - that didn't go away with skipping dairy this month.  But is supremely different than my pulled chest wall soreness, I don't know how I could have mixed them up!

The cramping is fooling with my head this 2WW.  I remember reading on a blog that low cramping was a good sign (in contrast to her sharp pains after an IVF, which was a bad sign).  And I swear I read somewhere you are more likely to conceive after a long cycle - which is also messing with my head!

Either this is it, or AF is going to ROCK me this month!  (The odds makers in Vegas put me actually being pg as 1:28 - pretty long odds, eh?  I would not take that bet!)

I started taking my Chastetree berry + Vervain tea - UGH.  It is mightiliy disgusting.  I hope it is doing something!   I made the mistake of making a HUGE cup of it the first day - that was rough!  Second day I made just a half a normal cup, so I could down it in a few gulps after it cooled.  I left them at work (I've been taking it in the afternoon, so away from food), I think I have just enough tincture to get me through the weekend.

Oh, and have I mentioned I am taking F.ertileCM in preps for next cycle?  I somehow LOVE taking it.  I feel like I am doing something massively good for myself.  Which it certainly not necessarily the truth - but it a nice feeling, so I'll go with it.  I read on someone's Napro blog that their Napro doc had prescibed it for them.  And I thought to myself, "If a real honest to goodness doctor is suggesting this stuff, it must be legit."  And I certainly have known CM issues, so it can't hurt.  Afterall, Dr Nora gave me that huge CM lecture.  So it would be grand to actually have good CM for the drugged IUI we are planning!

I think if the IUI#2 doesn't work, DH and I should go away on a last minute vacation.  :)

Monday, January 9, 2012

Dairy and Mastalgia?

Well, my right boob pain is 99% gone - that's good.  And although it is CD18, my normal cyclical boob pain has not started up yet.  Sadly, I happened across a link with cyclical boob pain and DAIRY.

Oh, so sad.  Woe is me.  I loooove my goat milk/cheese/yoghurt.  I am trying this month to not have any.  Sigh.  Well, except for this raclette party we're going to on the weekend.  I went out an bought some goat cheese that is suitable for raclette (you know you're at a cool cheese shop when you ask for raclette cheese made from goat or sheep, and they just nod and bring you some cheese).  We'll see if I don't get sore boobs until then.  That would certainly be interesting, if very sad.

So while I was out and about getting my fancy cheese, I tried to go to the herbalist to buy another Chastetree berry/Vervain tincture (this is the one I use to help with progesterone in luteal phase)- closed on Sundays!  So at my hippie store I bought some chaste tree berry tea and vervain tea.  Ah...I don't think tea is quite the same as tincture.  But, it is the best I can do until I can get more tincture.  And certainly cheaper than tincture!  Wish me luck!  (Or let me know if this is a terrible idea)

On Saturday I had a moment of - "maybe I don't even want to have a baby".  It was sort of surreal.  It was a tiring day (which began at 5am), and I was having a bath and reading a book in the evening, and I thought about how much I was enjoying that - and with kids you don't necessarily get to check out and have a bath whenever you want.  By Sunday I was back in the swing of things, but....  yikes.  At the very least I'm hoping for a little Murphey's Law action here.  ;)

Saturday, January 7, 2012

2011 in review

I got this over at The Surprise of Unfolding (she was my prayer buddy this Advent), and I thought I'd take a crack at it.

Year in Review 

1. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don’t remember my resolutions from last year - that's part of the fun, always forgetting.
For 2012: No more refined sugar.  At all.  This includes High Fructose Corn Syrup.

2. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
An IUI (not fun!), Fall camping (fun!)

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Heck yes.  A good friend, another friend's wife, another friend, several wives of guys at work...

4. Did anyone close to you die?

5. What countries did you visit?
China, Hong Kong, Macau, Taiwan (haha - all sort of just china!)

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
Get back to being more fit.

7. What date(s) from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Um...right now I've got nothing.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Tough question.  I don't really think I achieved very much - the year just sort of floated by.  Our home improvements are coming along, but that is mostly DH.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not getting my husband a harmonica for his stocking stuffer.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
String of colds (maybe the flu) in Nov/Dec.  Some adrenal fatigue earlier in the year that I think I have beat now.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
New winter boots.  Hot!

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Feather's and I when we 'won' Nano.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

The whole pizza is a vegetable thing.  I don't care how you slice it - the nutritional status of most children is sad.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Mortgage!  While I am still working with my golden handcuffs, we're trying to pay down the mortgage as much as we can - maybe one day I will go on mat leave and never return?

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Cousin's wedding, trip to China

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO.  It was just introduced to me recently - it is hilar.  It was the theme of our NY trip - the kids loved it as well ("the robot song!").

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?
a) same?
b) fatter
c) richer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Running/Gym workouts/Walking

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Watch TV! Netflix, you are my downfall!
20. How did you spend Christmas?
With my Mom and Aunt.  First time ever.  It was sort of a punishment for my Dad.  Back to Dad next year.

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?
Yes - with the Real Food movement.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Fringe, Drop Dead Diva (super ridiculous), Glee, Murder She Wrote, Walking Dead

23. Do you hate anyone now that you did not hate this time last year?
I dislike this dude at work, but I don't hate him.  I'm not much of a hater.

24. What was the best book you read?
Heidi.  I loved it - I can't believe I never read it before.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
LMFAO.  (Yes, I am aware that I sound like a teenager that has been let out of a cave she's lived in all year)

26. What did you want and get?
A fancy pickling crock, to make my own sauerkraut.  Check!  :)

27. What did you want and not get?
To get out of the rat race, live in the country, grow more things.

28. What was your favourite film of this year?
Rachel getting married.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Went to a B&B that weekend - really nice.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Well, duh - have baby.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Hahha - personal fashion wha...?  I don't have those.

32. What kept you sane?
Blogging.  Friends.  CBC radio 2's Fresh Air.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Shane from the L word.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

The power major corporations have over our lives.

35. Who did you miss?
I always miss my Grandma, and I missed a good friend who moved to BC, and Feather who lives about 5 hours away, but wouldn't it be grand if we lived in the same city?
36. Who was the best new person you met?
I would have to say all the altos in my new choir.  I think they're all great.  My fav is midwife E, but also I find D's take on the world really positive and inspiring.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
It is worth it to join an organisation (for me it was a church) to get to know your community more.  And that out of the cold patrons just seem to be guys down on their luck.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Everyday I'm shufflin'  (as in, I keep going to work my lame job, no baby has yet appeared, rinse and repeat...)

Thursday, January 5, 2012

The boob that kept on hurting...

... doc says it is just Costochondritis.  No big deal.  Essentially it is like I pulled a muscle (in my chese wall) with all that coughing back in December.

It is a bit scary, when you google "breast pain" all sorts of cancer sites come up.  And I didn't really think that was it - I was leaning towards maybe it was a cyst - but I am glad to hear it is just a pulled muscle.  No more lady problems, please - I have enough!

NYE was fun.  But let me tell you - four babies in the same room, all sort of freaking out because there was too much stuff going on, and a very tetchy two year old, and a rambuncious four year old...  hahah - it wasn't a quiet weekend, shall we say.  ;)

It was a bit hard at times - the engaged-not-yet-married girl had lots of preggo questions for all the Moms in the house.  And one of them recommended a book to read about getting pg - in my head I am screaming "No!  Don't listen to her!  An IF knows all about it!  That book is not the best!"  but I just kept my mouth shut and said not a word.  In fact for all pg related conversations  (which there were many, with so many new moms)  I sort of edged away and didn't say anything.

Hopefully next year I'll be taking part!  :)  At the very least, it is intersting being around all these different parenting styles and kids, and hearing them give tips to each other.

They did sort of  mention another girl I know is undergoing IUI for her second kid.  And I like the tone, like it was no big deal.  Maybe I'll tell them all at some point.  But I have to be able to do it without crying!  I think I'm there, but I haven't tested it lately.

I have another little cold (probably from one of those snot nosed little buggers - the whole trip got sick) - and I was just feeling unhealthy in general.  I think this is not the month for me.  I feel too "acidic".  This is proved by DH's gout flaring up - we are on low imflammation food for the next while (which will also help with my pulled boob muscle).  And it is time to pull out our Chinse remedy for gout - coconut water and black bean water.  Poor DH - I hope it doesn't flare all the way up, he'll be crippled for a few days.  And it's his Chinese bday tomorrow!

I just called dr A's office and said we're a 'go' for next cycle IUI.  We have to redo our STD bloodwork before then since it's been >6 months.  Which is so lame - 6 months already?!?!  The nice thing was that the receptionist knew me on the phone - yet this is also a bad sign, since I go there so much!  Yaargh.

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