Last night DH and I went to a barbeque at his friend's, whom we see perhaps once a year. His friend is married to Middle Sister, who has three lovely children.
DH also knows oldest sister, whom he dragonboats with. Oldest sister is about (over?) 40, but she's quite lively and fun - you'd swear she was 27 if you met her. There is also Youngest Sister, who does not figure into our tale, but is about my age, and unmarried.
Now a few years ago, we were at dinner with this same group, DH and I were as of yet unmarried, and did not know the hardships of IF. We made some of those obnoxious comments to Oldest Sister and her husband "You should have kids!" type of comments.
From my recollection, Oldest sister at one point hung her head and said in a small voice "I can't have any children". Even then as a potentially-fertile, I knew we were being obnoxious, and I quickly changed the subject. I'm pretty sure I've even had the "there are other things in life than children" conversation with her at some point.
So I've kind of felt an IF kinship with Oldest Sister, even though we've never talked about it. Since Middle Sister and DH's friend are both fancy doctors, I assumed that when she made that statement they would have already exhausted all medical avenues - for Oldest Sister clearly loved and doted on her nieces and nephews.
Yesterday DH old me Oldest Sister was expecting. I was pleased! It is always nice to hear and IF lady caught - particularly one that was so sweet and seemed to really love kids so much, and I do know she's somewhere in the vicinity of 40. But then DH also said that Oldest Sister had said something like "Oh, my DH didn't want to have kids yet, but since I'm 40, we thought now was a good time" or something to that effect. What?? What happened to "I can't have kids"? Did I dream that up?
But I thought, ok, whatever her cover story is, I'm glad for her. She doesn't need to announce to the world if she's had an IVF, or whatever it was that finally got her pg.
BUT - at dinner last night - she was a TOTALLY OBNOXIOUS PREGNANT PERSON. Seriously! I wanted to throttle her. She went on and on about how she was not going to stop doing anything just because she was pregnant, and she was still painting (walls, like) and going up ladders and climbing on counters and everything, and she hated it when people told her to take it easy. Fine, no need to become sheltered, I have no specific problem with anything she's doing (as long as it's low VOC paint) - but it was totally the attitude. Hello? You have a precious miracle in your belly. Stop acting like it's no big deal, or just a minor inconvenience! What a prat.